Z is for Zone

There are certain things that are easy for me to zone out.  A little chuckle here and there.  Moments when the TV is slightly too loud or when music has a little too much bass.  The cat purring or scratching behind his ear. Even the occasional faucet drip.

What I can't zone out is excessively loud noise on a continuous basis.  Especially when I'm in the midst of writing.  It's somewhat tolerable when I'm reading but damned near impossible when I'm writing.

I found myself at times typing the very words I was hearing in conversations from "The Neighbors from Hell" (aka Apartment Four).

The neighbor who is right across from the madness in Apartment Five says she ignores it and doesn't let it bother her.  It would be different if she was around during the time when there was less noise and better quality people living at the spot (like I have).  Yet my fear is that there's noise (of joy) and then there's noise (when someone is getting hurt).  

Some of the neighbors before these loud ones liked to fight and do other illegal activities.  In many cases, I had to call the cops.  Not just because of the amount of noise but because I'm of the mind of "what if something really serious is happening in there?".  What if someone is getting hurt, and I'm hearing it but don't say anything?  I'm sorry: I've been on the other side of that and I would rather say something than just be of the mind of "it's not my problem."

I know if Apartment 5 can hear it, then Apartment 3 can certainly hear all of the racket "The Neighbors from Hell" make.  The tenants in Apartment 3 have kids and their kids don't act at a fool like this one kid, the two females, and the dog act.  Yet folks want to try to ignore it and not say anything (yet are the same ones that mutter "those folks sure are loud").

That's just not me.  I'm not trying to be the "bitch that makes things harder for anyone else."  However, with the exception of one person, I've resided in this building longer than anyone else.  I know I pay more rent than anyone else because of the amount of rooms I have.  Yet I believe since I do pay a significant amount, I should have some significant say in what type of environment I want to deal with.

And these Hellions do not fit the ideal neighbor spiel.

I contacted them a few days ago to keep the noise down.  With their recent shenanigans, their attitude is we are going to do what the hell we want to anyway.  I have contacted the landlord to let him know that I will be taking further measures if he doesn't step in and address the "excessive noise clause" in the rental agreement and apply it to this particular tenant situation.

Will keep you guys posted.

Zoning out!

Y is for Yawn

It's just one of those days.

After about two and a half weeks of talking about this new work, I finally get exposed to the new work.  I'm trying very hard to not yawn but it's not going all that well.  It's not that she's boring.  It's just that there are times while teaching me, she's telling me the wrong things.  Plus, when I ask her "why" a certain thing is done the way it should be, she's baffled.

For example, I asked why this particular organization always uses Mapquest to calculate mileage.  In my opinion, Google Maps is a lot faster than Mapquest.  Yet her answer was, "Well this is the way they want it done."  That's her answer with a lot of the things.  It's her way of saying, "Don't ask me too much about why.  It's just how it's done so you should just do it."

I am not trying to be difficult.  I'm just curious about how much is done here because no one wanted to rock the boat vs. the practice actually being efficient or effective.

I just figured I would ask.  Yet the ugly look she has been giving me has suggested that's not such a great idea.

Peace.

X is for eX

In my life I have had three types of eX's:

• The kind I should have never gotten involved with
• The kind I got involved with but we were better off friends
• The kind where you wonder "what if"

The kind I should have never gotten involved with is relatively simple.  That very element you thought served as a main source of connectivity was fragile at best.  Maybe what was supposed to be just sex turned into something more and no one had the guts to call a spade a spade.  The latter statement didn't happen to be all that much, but the first statement--more times than I really want to admit. This type of eX is the one I'm happy to slam the door, lock it, and throw away the key.

Then there's the kind where since he and I got along very well as friends, it could easily transfer over into relationship love.  I know there are many people and songs out there that claim the best person to be in a relationship should be your friend first.  Yet I'm a testament that it doesn't always work out.  This type of eX is the one where the door is slammed and locked but every once in a while, I might use the key.  The whole "hey it's been a while; how are you?" type thing.  Nothing like the old friendship of before.  I don't care what people say--if you get romantically involved and go back into the friend zone, it just feels different.

Last but certainly not least, it's the kind where you wonder "what if".  It's the situation where the two of you were great for each other, yet other things got in the way.  One partner had a hard time coping with a life event.  One partner can't deal with long distance.  The break up was pretty amicable and you both manage to stay in touch from time to time without it feeling too awkward.  Both of you have separate lives, even maybe in other relationships--yet there's this nagging feeling of "what if".

I try my best not to look back.  The way I see it, there's a reason the relationship didn't work out.  Even if the outside factors didn't come in to play, there's no way to know (especially if many years have past) whether the eX of now is compatible to the me of now.  I'm not saying friendship with an eX is impossible but one has to be focused on the why of the matter--to make sure friendship is truly what each wants instead of recapturing feelings of days gone by.

Peace.

W is for Winter

Confession: I am not the biggest fan of Winter.

Hello everyone!

This past Winter in New Jersey has been the wackiest ever.  Or maybe not.  Perhaps the winter happened exactly the way it was supposed to.

You see, ever since I moved up to New Jersey, I was told about how bad the winters could be.  Yet for quite a few years since being here, they had been relatively mild.  Sure, the first couple of years I had to adjust to the "not so Southern weather".  Now if the temperature is mid to low 40's, that's a good day.

Here are some things I do know:

1. Harsh winters suck for cars that are low to the ground, like my car.

2. People in SUV's tend to drive overly aggressive simply because they have all wheel drive. Yet even that can't save you from a potential accident.

3. My landlord was such a slum bucket (read "cheap") that he didn't want to pay someone to ice and shovel. So he opted to negotiate with some of the male tenants in exchange for dollars off the rent.

4. One positive thing about technically living in the attic: since heat rises, my need to use the actual heater was significantly less.  At times, I actually had to turn on the fan.

5.  My hot chocolate consumption was greater.

6.  My desire to exercise was sluggish. It was very hard to get in gear.

7. To me, Uggz aren't that cute but I sure could have used some.

8. There's nothing like wet snow to indicate when you have a tear in your shoe. Too bad I had to toss that pair--they were my second favorite.

9. I'm still not use to wearing a scarf around my neck, even if they do keep my neck warm.

10. Big snow flakes like clinging to my locs.

Bring on Spring!

Peace.

V is for Vigor

Short little ramble:

At first, my thoughts would come one at a time.  There were moments when I wish a thought would just come and stay a while before flying away.  Then the worst was when I didn't have thoughts at all.  Now I am immersed in an ocean full of them and have brain waves jocking for position.

What vigor!

Oh well.  It's just this writing life.

Peace.

U is for Unity (or lack of)

Do people really have a sense of unity anymore?  There are so many people with awesome ideas.  Even people who are quick to cosign on the ideas.  Yet when it comes time for performing, you encounter an empty room.

A friend of mine came up with this idea for an event.  The person she talked to was all ecstatic about it, even saying she would sponsor it and the other members would chime in with promoting and advertising.  However, after the initial idea was presented, the promotion of it was slim to none: to the point where I thought the whole shebang had been cancelled.

The irony is a few days ago, the very person who talked about sponsoring the event sent an email saying everyone needs to "support each other more".  Yet those very people are a no show at this event that could have raised sales and helped a cause.

I just don't understand.  (shrugs)

The point I'm getting is that one should just not talk about being unified but actually be unified.

Peace.

T is for Time

Time is a very precious thing.  It is one of those things you cannot get back so it must be utilized wisely.  The one thing that is worst that a person wasting time is when another person causes time to be wasted.

Just recently, after many months of one of the apartments (rooms in the house) being empty, new people moved into Apartment Four.

Let me back up and explain the living arrangement.

I'm in one of those houses that's considered a historical house.  What you see a lot of where I live at is where certain segments of the houses are rented out as apartments.  This particular house is divided into six apartments.

Apartment One: The very back (basement)
Apartment Two: The right

Apartment Three:  Left 1st floor

Apartments Four & Five: Left 2nd Floor

Apartment Six:  The very top (attic)

I'm at the very top.  It's inconvenient in the summer because I have to use more air to keep cool, but very convenient in the winter because I need less heat to stay warm. (heat floats upwards and such)

Now that we have a visual--back to the story.

The new people moving in were quite loud.  I was willing to let some of it go when they first arrived.  The whole getting adjusted and celebrating: I get that.  

It has become a constant thing.  I don't know what noise is being made during the day because I'm at work.  Yet they get wound up at around 8:30-9:00 at night.  During this time, the Sweetie is making his way to work and I'm the one up in the apartment.  The noises consist of but are not limited to the following:

• A small ass dog (think rat dog) constantly barking:  Keep in mind that initially dogs weren't allowed to be on the premises
• Loud bumping, banging and slamming: I swear they are either wrestling, fighting or doing demolition work
• Loud ass talking: I am able to tell you the name of the guy this chic is having sex with, what time she's getting her nails done, when she's cussing out her kid--the whole nine

This is what I've had to deal with ever since they have moved here.  I reached my breaking point last night heading into this morning.  

The dog barked for almost two hours straight.  Loud cussing, talking and carrying on.  Although my body made it to the bedroom by 11:30, I did not get to sleep until almost 3.  

This morning--functioning on a little less than four hours of sleep, I wrote my "delightful" neighbors a little "love note", asking them to turn the volume down on the constant noise.  They are going to act in one of two ways.  If I err on the side of optimism, they will keep the noise down and we can all live happily ever after.

Yet, it seems everyone who has ever lived in Apt. 4 previously has given me hell.  So I wouldn't be surprised if I end up getting the other scenario: where I am ignored and they continue to do the very thing that will have me consistently in Stage Nuclear.

If that ends up being the case, the cops will be on speed dial.  The landlord will end up being the one getting harassed because I pay too much money to not be able to enjoy peace and quiet the few hours I'm able to even spend at the apartment.

Peace.

S is for Success

Greetings everyone!

When I was growing up, different people pitched me different ideas of what success looked like.  You should have a great paying job, a nice house, a nice car, handsome husband, a few kids, and some pets. Success was reflected on how much you had materially.

Some of this was perpetuated due to the fact that I didn't grow up with a whole lot.  Yet I was one of those kids who was pretty satisfied with what I had.  I never clamored to have designer labels, the latest video game, and the like.  Most of the things I asked for were pretty basic or had a bit of a learning/educational/music component.  I really didn't realize what my "station" was until I got around kids who had a lot more.  But with all the things these kids had, there was a connecting factor in those that I was around.

1.  They were never satisfied.  They constantly wanted more.
2.  They never took care of the things they had.
3.  They walked around with a sense of entitlement.  They never felt like they had to earn or work for anything.

Keep in mind that I am only speaking of the kids that I was exposed to. 

When I became an adult, I try to follow the proposed blueprints of success.  Get a good education.  Get a job, etc., etc.  Yet the pretty decent paying job I had was extremely time consuming and played a major factor in my health deteriorating.  Education is no longer looking like a sure fire way to success based on the economy and job market.  There aren't enough quality jobs to match people with degrees.  Instead, there are some people scrapping over entry level positions and settling for thousands less than what they are entitled to just to survive.  No matter how much reporting the media says that things are improving.  Don't buy all of the hype.

If I was sticking to the blueprint, why wasn't I happy?  Why didn't I feel successful?

I have come to the conclusion that the proposed blueprint for success doesn't apply to me.  I'm not deep in material possessions so why would that be my moniker for success?  I've always been more focused on the quality of something as opposed to quantity, so it didn't make sense for me to mold this idea around having a lot.

As most of you know, I started back actively publishing in 2013.  I wasn't sure what to expect with the journey.  Things had changed A LOT since I last published something (which was back in 2006).  Yet my focus has always been more on quality and having work out there someone could relate to--for a person to feel like he or she wasn't alone.

Could my poetic works have focused more on trends (grunge poetry, flash poetry, etc.)?  Perhaps, and for those who are doing the type of poetry trending right now--major kudos!  However, that's just not me. If I were to do that type of style, it would be a lie and those following me from the beginning would know I was being false.

Yes I want my writing to make money.  I have gotten some sales here and there.  I want to get them being honest and not being a trend monkey.  I'm not willing to sacrifice my core style to the call of group think and being like everyone else.

In my eyes, I'm successful when a person has read one of my books and that my work has helped him or her.  I'm successful when some of the edits I've provided to someone has really improved the presentation of a product.  I'm successful when someone gains something out of a review I've done, a column in the magazine or a blog or story I've written.

Just recently, a poetry anthology I'm a part of hit #1 on the Bestsellers list of Poetry Anthologies on Smashwords--Words of Fire and Ice.  I can add the title Bestselling Author to my resume.  Yes that says to the world I'm a success but I have been that anyway.

Peace.

P.S.  Until May 6th, you can pick up an electronic copy of this collection absolutely FREE via Smashwords. Just enter KC89W upon checkout.

R is for Running (on empty)

R is for Running.

On empty that is!  My muscle spasms have kicked into high gear.  First they started in the lower leg and thigh areas.  Usually that is the prime indicator they are going to hit other parts as well.  Yet I prayed that they wouldn't--simply because I don't like taking the medication when the pain gets that bad.

Yesterday it couldn't be helped.  I couldn't move, and the medication that helps it doesn't permit me to operate machinery.  Therefore, driving was out of the question.  In addition it makes me relatively tired.  

I have my lesser of two evils on me today.  It makes me tired but it's acting as a chaser to keep the pain at bay.  Perhaps I will look into doing some pilates from beginners.  Anything is better than popping all these pills. 

Any one have any suggestions?  I'm a beginner.  Think Pilates 101 or something.

Peace.

Q is for Quiet Time

What do I do for Quiet Time?

Well, I tend to read and write.

Hold on; wait a minute!

When I read, I tend to form a review--even if it's work I'm randomly reading.  When I write, at times it is in relation to my next work, things to share on Read Wave or things to blog about.

I guess my idea of Quiet Time would be everyone else's interpretation of just what I do on the regular.

I guess I could incorporate sleep.  Yet at times I dream about things I could be writing about.  Then, I wake up from sleep to jot those things down.  Durn I guess that isn't fully quiet either!

I guess I should be asking "What quiet time?"

Peace.

P is for Put Off

Greetings everyone!

What I really wanted to write up there was p*ssed off (lol).

Anyway, let's get to the gravy on the mashed potatoes.  Most of you probably already know that I do reviews for The Review Board.  In addition to putting up the reviews on TRB, I put them up on Goodreads, Amazon, and Amazon.co.uk.  Also, people who have reviewed my work have put their thoughts up on Goodreads, Amazon, and the like.

I started noticing that reviews have been disappearing from Amazon.  Reviews that had gotten the seal of approval many months ago and went up without a problem before.  First, they were from two of my poetry works.  I alerted the reviewer that their thoughts had disappeared.

Then, it started happening on books I had read and reviewed.  Not just read and reviewed, but reviewed favorably (like 4 and 5 stars with no spoilers).  And if they had spoilers, I would indicate it--then it wouldn't be that big of a spoiler.  Two books I picked up on right away because I had just done a review on her third book.

When I contacted Amazon to figure out why the 4 and 5 star reviews for the two books had been removed, I got a generic email that covered none of the situations whatsoever.  The author wants me to put them back up, but I'm concerned as to why this is not only happening to me but to other people as well.  Wouldn't Amazon crack down on the crappy reviews instead of the good ones--if they wanted to regulate so much?

It just doesn't make that much sense to me.

I know this the part where you guys are thinking: "Is that it for this blog post?"

Actually, it is.  I just wanted to vent for a moment and put that gif up there...lol.

Peace.

O is for Observations (Crazy gif warning alert)

Random things I've been observing:

1.  I see more retweeting on Twitter than actual interaction (conversations) between people.

2.  You get more Facebook likes if you are dolled up than just looking natural.

3.  If you put up a pic that shows off your mountains or your assets, the increase in Facebook likes is uncanny.

4.  When you put up a Facebook status that sounds like a rant, why does everyone respond to it except the person you are really talking about?  Or worse, what if you are just sounding off in general, yet someone reacts to it in specifics?

5.  More and more I'm realizing people are not being one hundred percent honest when they say they want honest reviews.

6.  There are certain people that only pay attention to my Facebook wall when I'm talking about the wrestling pay per views yet are quiet other times.  Am I being used for entertainment purposes only?

7.  The quality of the reads I've been receiving the past few months have declined while the ones I've chosen randomly are on the rise.  Is that coincidence?

8.  I always have this one area of my back that itches from time to time that I can never reach.

9.  Musicians who have been in the game for a while are trying a bit too hard to still remain relevant.  Let the music stand the test of time.  You don't see Aretha Franklin and Chaka Khan constantly talking about their sex lives, doing stripper like performances, and calling it good music.  Yet their music stretches the test of time.

Will I remember these others for their vocal range or their songs?  Not saying they aren't talented but so much of these extra antics.  (just saying)

10.  It's mad interesting how a person who is quick to call another woman a whore and all things slutty is coming out with a sex tape.  I know Joseline Hernandez is cracking the hell up at the Mimi and Nikko sex tape.  Maybe Mimi is trying to be the next Kim K.  Maybe Nikko is trying to prove he doesn't switch hit (I still don't buy it; he gives off bi/gay energy.)

It's amazing how I know these things yet I don't even tune into the show like that.  The thing that trips me out about Mimi is that she always was trying to act like she was better than anyone else on there--yet she is just as ratchet as the rest.  At least Joseline claimed hers and never acted like she didn't strip and do all that other stuff.  Mimi if you want to put it out there, do you, but please quit acting like you are a cut above--stunting like you're NY Strip but really cube steak.

Okay, that's about all for now.

Peace.

N is for Nonstop

I just think this graphic is rather groovy.  Plus it does help that it's Wednesday.

Hi everyone!

I learned a lesson long ago that it is better to just be about it rather than just talk about it.

Have you ever been around that person who constantly tells everyone about what he wants to do? Sometimes he does exactly what he says he's going to do.  Other times, he's getting around to it.

Then there are those who are simply all talk and no action.  He has talked about the next big idea, but when you ask him what happened to the three others he came up with.  Nothing but crickets or he tries to dodge the question with nervous laughs.

One thing even worse than that is when you've shared your idea with someone who was a friend but due to a disagreement has attempted to implement your very idea.

That is why I keep quiet for the most part.  My movement is nonstop yet unannounced.  When it is time for me to talk about things, then I will.  Until that time, I just stay low key and keep it moving.

Peace.

 

M is for Mood Ring

Source: failblog.cheezburger.com

I went through a phase where I liked wearing rings on every one of my fingers (with the exception of my thumbs).  I also had a thing for mood rings and feel very sad that I don't have any of them.

Side Note: I do still like wearing a lot of rings--just not as many due to where I work at.

Moving on, because this blog isn't about my love of mood rings.  It's just my way of saying that I'm feeling in a bit of a "mood" about a lot of things.

Like, just because I'm expressing my disdain about something, it doesn't mean I'm "premenstrual", "having my period", or I'm like that "because I'm a woman".   Can we entertain for one second that the other person could have done something that warranted confrontation?

Source: www.lift.net

Also just because your fifth cousin or your neighborhood buddy thought something you wrote was "bad ass", it doesn't give the seal of approval to share with the world.  Some things just need to stay within your circle. Writing for pleasure and lots of ego strokes: personal posting.  Putting your work out there to get talked about by anyone and everyone--whether its in a positive or negative manner: public posting.  

To add on to that, why do some people assume that just because a person writes in the same genre it automatically means a good rating on a book?  "Hey, she writes paranormal.  That means I'm a shoo in." Then the person wants to get mad because he got a low rating.  The whole "how can you hate on me when we write the same stuff; we're supposed to be in this together" spiel.  Sorry, but I'm not the type that looks at blood coming out of my finger and calls it red wine or ketchup.  If something's poo, it's poo.

Something else that's been on my mind is marketing.  Yes, I know marketing is necessary.  Quite frankly, it's my least favorite thing to do.  However, shouldn't there be etiquette with this, too?

When I come to a group, I always read the rules first.  I check to see what type of material it accepts (if it doesn't take my type of work, then I move on), as well as how often I can advertise.  Some places allow a certain day.  If I miss that day, then I'm patient enough to wait until the next day.  Some spots you have to post in a certain thread; then I post in that thread.

Yet how can people claim to be writers but don't read?  How can a rule say "FREE books only" and someone post something that's for sale?  How can the rules clearly state "only post on Mondays" yet there's always someone who thinks he is the exception and posts on Tuesdays?  Then these "non-reading authors" wonder why they get banned.

Since I'm not a fan of spammers, I do my best to not do that on any clubs I've been added to, invited to, or joined.  If there's a club I was added to that isn't my cup of tea, I don't put on a theatrical production.  I just leave quietly.  You might not have even known I was there.

I know this may come across as if I'm highly pissed.  Seriously I'm not.  Simply saying it with my chest.

Peace.

L is for Little

Yes it is the little things.  At least it is for me.

Yesterday, it was so nice to have a day where there was just wind and sun.  I wanted to go for a walk.  Feeling a bit of cabin fever was an understatement.  Yet I didn't want to deal with driving either.

The hubby and I walked to the museum.  It is no small hike.  At times, I look at him and feel slightly envious.  He's tall and relatively slender.  He makes any trek anywhere look like a cake walk.  At times he probably slowed his stride so I could catch up.

I didn't know the museum was open on Sunday.  If I had known, the walk would have started earlier.  I like all parts of the museum but Fine Arts has always been my weakness.  We didn't quite finish observing everything before we got ushered out.

Two conclusions:

(1) I have to get back into walking shape.

(2) There's always next Sunday.

Peace.

K is for Kite

Source:  http://www.gombergkites.com

As the wind was blowing, I tried to recall if I had ever flown a kite before.  I have observed others flying kites.  I always find it fascinating.  All it depends on is the wind, and it's just magnificent in the simplicity.

The other day I was tempted to buy a kite, but noticed the weird looks that I received.  I could have been getting it for my child.  Folks can be so nosy!

I was observing the different shapes and colors.  Next thing you know, a person comes over and asks if I need help.  I told him no thank you and kept looking around.  Then, a few minutes after that, another person came over.  I know the person is just trying to do his or her job, yet it was the second person that asked within a five minute time frame.

Do these people think I'm going to shove a kite down my bra?  I know I'm chesty but really?  Even thinking about it gives me chuckles!  The constant people wanting to assist me just aggravated to the point where I no longer felt like buying the kite..at least from that particular location.

Oh well!  Maybe another time and definitely another place.

Peace.

J is for Jobs

Can we call this my observing look? (lol)  Even not, that is what I'm going with.

Greetings everyone!

Confession time:  The current job I am working does nothing to show off the skills I've acquired in high school or in college.  I get points on my pleasant professional voice when I answer the phone.  Looks of amazement are constant after completing assignments when in reality, some of the stuff I'm asked to do can be performed with not much (read no) brain power.  No one has to worry about me spilling out confidential information because I don't talk that much anyway, and besides I don't care enough about what they want me to keep secret.

I'm the type of person who tends to give my best in whatever project I'm in.  I used to think that if I worked hard enough and made myself available whenever it is needed, then I would get rewarded.  In my jobs from the past, I was very quick to get promoted or to head projects.  People say my biggest assets are my determination, my willingness to learn, and how quickly I caught on to things.  

FYI: The things I'm about to say reflect my experiences only.  If things are going differently in your neck of the words, awesome sauce.

In the past few years (particularly since I've lived in NJ), the things that used to be exemplary are now expected.  You used to be asked if you could stay extra hours or could give up a few hours on your scheduled day off.  Now you're just told.  You used to be given ample time to recuperate if you were ill.  Now it's like, "Can you get back as quick as you can?"  

I got discarded from my old job after a few months earlier, there were hints I would definitely be getting another promotion.  This promotion would have allowed me to be more behind the scenes than hands on.  There would still be long hours but it would be in different ways.  If it weren't for that, I would not have stayed.  You see, I had gotten as high up from the base level as possible--so I was a bit stuck.  

The next step up would allow me to utilize more of my business background, which is what I was hoping for. Yet once the business ended up in someone else's hands, he had a different vision for who he wanted to shape his initiative.  I wasn't part of his plan.  I am not one that goes along with things that do not make sense.  I wanted to be inquisitive; he saw it as insubordination.  Although my know how made that particular location more money than they had seen in years, just because I wouldn't go along with his idiocy, I was the "dinosaur that wasn't down with the new wave of things".  In other words, no cooperation equaled elimination. 

When you give that much just to be treated horribly, it takes a toll on you.

I was brought up old school.  My grandparents told me that I should be a honest, hard working person.  I should get a good education.  It will all pay off in the end.

Does it really pay off?  There are so many people I see with high paying jobs that can't think their way out of a paper bag.  Yet the ones who have credentials are getting skipped over.  The conclusion is made, "We have to pay this person way too much money?  Let's just send her a letter and deem her overqualified.  Let's tell her that she is way too good for this job and we wish her the best in her endeavors."

Yet if I am really thought I was too good, I would not have even applied.  I'm sorry--people now would rather hire someone willing to take less pay than a person who is worth his salt.  It no longer matter if the person has any type of knowledge.

Reference: Quality Management-The New Joke, What Goes Around

At one point I was working two jobs.  One boss I was working for was fresh out of college.  He wanted to be friends with everybody.  He didn't know how to provide leadership so people did whatever the hell they wanted to do.  That guy being anyone's leader was a joke.

Then, the people who are lackadaisical in their tasks get multiple chances at redemption.  I kid you not.  At one job, upper management had proof this other person was stealing yet the guy didn't get fired.  The other guy who was always dependable was late one time.  It was because his wife was sick.  It didn't matter to them because he was let go.  Last I heard, the "thief" was still there.

Being at one job for a long period of time is no longer the standard anymore.  Job security and benefits have been whittled down to a pipe dream.  I understand why more people are working for themselves, yet even with that it has to be done well.

I can't give my "all" anymore.  That is no longer appreciated.  I'm not saying that not to work hard.  Yet I can't get caught up in caring about certain things.  My new phrase, "That's not in my pay grade."  In reality, it isn't.  Once I start getting promoted or paid more to care about certain events, then I will.  Yet, I don't see that happening any time soon at this place.  You're more likely to get let go due to budget cuts than see a pay raise.  This place is "Temp City."

I'm still looking for a full time job that will actually work for me.  Until that time (and with how tough things still remain--don't believe what the media is feeding you), I'm holding on to what I have.

Peace.

I is for...I

Okay so grammar wise, it isn't correct.  (Oops!)

You ever have one of those days when you are just dead last in the hierarchy of what has to be accomplished?  Then by the time you get to you, you are just pooped.

Even worse, you have every intention of dealing with you first but things happened which kept it from even occurring?

I would just like a day simply for yours truly.  That day would consist of:

• Not having to take any phone calls
• Not having to answer any e-mails
• Not doing any reviews
• Not doing any editing
• Not doing any household duties
• Not doing any duties where I have to serve the role of superhero, therapist, mother, sex kitten, scientist, or surgeon

Therefore:

• No computer (unless I'm doing writing).  If I'm really going old school, unlined paper and pen/pencils.
• No cell phone.  If so, having on 24 hour Do Not Disturb.
• No cleaning products.
• No masks.

Even now, my inner busy bee, workaholic, and dedicated energy for everyone are all protesting at the same time.  This is the part where I'm going to get out the Raid, turn myself in to Workaholics anonymous, and shut off my power source.

I love ya'll, but it's about that time.  What do you know?  Time has an I.

Peace.

H is for Hinder

Greetings everyone!

It is times like these when I hate being a woman.  Menopause would be welcomed at a time like this.  When I get this way, it's so hard to achieve a level of comfort.  I focus on productivity to take my mind off the pain.

Last night, even though my eyes and my mind cried for sleep, my body acted like I was speaking in Russian. No comprehension.  It wasn't as if the aggravation could get planted into something to write.  I didn't even feel like writing.  Then I thought if I could look at some news, my brain could trick my body since it didn't want to negotiate.  My body wasn't falling for that Jedi mind trick.

I also thought about some sleepy time tea but had used my last bag.  Next plan of action was to soak in the tub yet fear of falling asleep in the tub hit me.  (It has happened before but I wasn't normally alone.)  I reached for my strong pain killers.  Although they do put me to sleep, they put me to sleep for a long time. That long time was greater than four hours--which was when my alarm would go off to get to work.

In the end, here I am--functioning on about three and a half hours of sleep.  I'm so glad the main boss isn't here today.  His grumpy and my grumpy would not have gotten along.   I've been a bit quieter than usual and no one has asked.  For once, everybody is staying out of my business.  That is how I like it.

Yet it is also why I tell  people to not call me at work.  I'm in an open area, not a cubicle or a closed office. That means the people in the front office and the other executive assistant next to me can hear anything that is said on the office phone.  They can't help themselves; they are just that nosy.  I found out the extent of the nosiness when the main boss asked me close to closing time--"Everything all right at home?"  I wasn't even talking that loud (not nearly as loud as he talks), but I guess it was noticed.

My happiness is hindered but it's quite all right.  With a long hot soak, a good book, some heavy pain killers, and four more days, my monthly joy snatcher will be on her way.

Peace.

G is for Give

I do have a giving spirit.  It's one of the things that people claim they admire about me.  Early in life, I started to hear that "I'm too giving."  The true meaning of that didn't really sink in until my mid twenties.  It revealed itself in several situations where I would assist people.  Not only did the assistance not get replicated but their actions (or lack of actions) caused some unfortunate situations.  A couple of those I'm still feeling the effects of.

What I have been doing is being more selective in three things: (1) Who I give to (2) What I give and (3) How much I give.

(1) Who I give to

As much as I try to give people benefit of the doubt, some will just take a mile if you give an inch. Unfortunately for me, the latter has been more the norm than the exception.  I had to adjust my way of thinking to protect myself. Otherwise, I would keep making the same mistakes.  Just because I have one philosophy of integrity, honesty and giving doesn't mean the other person embodies it or even upholds it. Therefore, if someone has shown me through words and/or actions that giving would be a liability, I just don't do it.  If I made the mistake with this person before, then it will not be repeated.

(2) What I give

Whatever is given has a value.  Value doesn't necessarily have to mean money.  It can also mean time.  A certain energy is attached to both.  I have to think to myself: Is this project worth the investment?  Is this person worth my time and does he or she have characteristics that reflect the time would be an asset?  Not every invention or idea is a smart one.  The "what" has to be wise as well.

(3)  How much I give

My grandma always told me not to start something I can't keep up.  With some people, once my propensity to give was revealed, they kept coming to the well consistently with their mouths open and hands out. Usually it was around the time where everything was steady in regards to finances or what not.  When things started going sour for me due to the economy, a few things happened.  Some people had amnesia: they couldn't recall saying "if you need anything, I'm here for you".  Others said, "See, what had happened was..." followed by the long story of why they couldn't give back money they promised to repay.  Yet there were some that didn't give a damn about my situation and was still looking for support anyway.

I've cut back on my giving.  Even with presents for the holidays.  For me, it just seemed strange to give gifts to someone every year that never gave me one in return--but was looking for one from me all the time.

There are some people who claim I've gotten meaner and am not as nice anymore. I don't think that's the case.  I've become wiser and smarter.

Although other people may claim to care about me, I have to put myself first.  If others don't like it, then they weren't meant to be mainstays in my life in the first place.

Peace.

F is for Fail

Greetings everyone!

This is the best face I could come up with--even this doesn't fully cover it.  No, I didn't do anything qualifying as a fail.

But the WWE did and with this man:

Yes, that is the Undertaker.  For those who started to watch WWE late, he became known for being undefeated at Wrestlemania and making "streak" a catch phrase.

For those of us who followed WWE when it still had an "F", we remember Undertaker for a different reason.  People like me.

I was blown away when he first appeared with Brother Love at Survivor Series 1990.  (No, Undertaker wasn't always with Paul Bearer--that came later.)  No one had an answer for his power.  He was very agile for such a big man--the way he walked on the rope, flew in the air.  Also, The Last Ride and the Tombstone Pile Driver (he added Hell's Gate later on to his arsenal).  The amount of pain he was able to absorb and still keep coming at people.

It wasn't just how he was as an athlete in the ring.  He was one of the few people who was great at recognizing talent and he commanded a lot of respect from the guys in the back.  When a man faced the Undertaker, it was for a purpose--to get catapulted to that next level.  Whether that man won (outside of the Wrestlemania streak matches) or lost, one would get respect because he went against the man.

So where did the fail occur?

Source:  deviantart.com

Last night at Wrestlemania, The Undertaker went against Brock Lesnar.

I'm on record as saying that I don't have a lot of respect for Brock Lesnar.  I think he's overrated.  He cares nothing about the sport; he comes in part time, takes his check, and goes home.  When he was full time in WWE, he did nothing to really enrich the sport.  He doesn't have a whole lot of speed, lacks charisma, and just has two moves he's mainly known for: the F-5 and the Kimura.

**In my mind, I'm already thinking of who they are going to put The Undertaker against for next year.  Mainly because I'm thinking there is no way that WWE would have Brock Lesnar be the one to end the Undertaker's legendary streak.**

When I saw the way that match ended, I was absolutely outdone!  I damn near punched the screen.  In my opinion, Brock Lesnar's overpaid ass didn't even deserve to be in the ring with The Undertaker.  Brock had already been in wars with Triple H, and Triple H had already put Brock's ass over.  Brock didn't need that win.  If WWE really thought that having Brock come on top of The Undertaker was going to garner him respect, then they really don't know their "wrestling fan base".  That's different from the "entertainment fan base. "

I know you may be wondering if I wanted the Taker's streak to last forever.  Look, I'm realistic.  The Undertaker's health hadn't been well in quite a few years.  Quite honestly, his streak should have ended a few years back--especially with the CM Punk last year.  He was the worst for wear at last year's Wrestlemania, and I wouldn't have been mad if CM Punk ended the streak.

I'm not the hugest fan of Triple H (Shawn Michaels has always been the better wrestler; why has there ever been a debate?), but I would have dealt with Triple H ending the streak.  Even Shawn Michaels after his second try...because those are men I respect.

But Brock Lesnar?  You let that bitch man be the one who ended Undertaker's streak?  It takes all the epic and majesty out of what the Streak represented.  Brock is not better than CM Punk.  He's not better than Triple H.  He damn sure isn't better than Shawn Michaels.  Yet those men didn't defeat Taker at Wrestlemania.

The best way WWE can make up for this travesty is to put The Undertaker in the 2015 Hall of Fame. Because for him to be defeated by a piss poor imitation of wrestling deserves something to make that embarrassment worth it. 

WWE, having a certain person finally come out on top (that will be revealed on another blog) is not quite enough for me to forgive this.

Peace.

E is for Enjoy

Perhaps it is the angle of this picture or the soft lighting in the background.  Needless to say, it's a keeper.

I think I'm going to alternate between Saturdays and Sundays as being the rest day for the A-Z challenge I'm a part of.

I am enjoying the writing life.  I submitted my poetry to two writing organizations.  I have not heard back from one but I did get accepted by the other.  The name of the anthology I'm a part of is Words of Fire and Ice and it will be released on April 22nd.

I feel so much vigor.  I haven't had this type of vigor since two occasions:  when I first started writing (at age 11) and when I was part of the Internet poetry organizations.  It's different in a sense that I don't think it's going to burn out this time around.

There's beauty in every step of the process, and I've been celebrating each part.  Even the parts where I've tried a certain technique and failed.  How can you really appreciate success if you have never failed at some point?  You cannot.

I'm not going to take up too much time, except to say:  I'm full of "enjoy".

Peace.