Wednesday, February 12, 2025

Dear Grandpa: Birthday Edition 2025

 




Dear Grandpa,

Side Note 1: I wish I had more pictures of you. I have the cover art of a short story I wrote; you will know why I chose this momentarily.

It's hard to believe that fourteen years have passed since you've been here. The world has changed so much that you would deem it unrecognizable. It's not only because of humanity's temperature but also because of how expensive everything is, especially food.

When I look at the prices of vegetables, I have fond memories of your garden. The tomatoes. The corn. The variations of greens. The beans. The potatoes ... wait, that almost sounds like the Shirley Caesar song. You would be amused yet horrified but every Thanksgiving, there is a clip from "Hold My Mule" where Shirley Caesar lists the food the farmer grows to represent what people are hoping to eat for Thanksgiving. Amused because it is funny. Slightly horrified ... because that is not what the song is about and some people have danced ... um, strangely ... to the gospel song. 

I also thought about a short story I wrote based on you and your garden. Well, it is under my pseudonym, but you get the idea. I did it in honor of National Short Story Month, which occurs in May of each year. At that point, it was the third anniversary of your passing.

I confess ... I don't like using the word death as it pertains to you and Grandma. I know that it's the more accurate term. Yet when I think of your final seconds on Earth, I pray it was peaceful. It does haunt me that I wasn't there in your final days and that Grandma did not get the opportunity to say goodbye.

Initially, I wanted to ask Mom about her mindset. Why didn't she contact Grandma right away? Over the years, that "need to know" has dwindled. It's not that I'm no longer curious. I predict whatever answer she gives me will not be satisfactory. Or worse, it will open a wound that over time has scabbed over.

Side Note 2: I was about to continue, but I will save that deep dive for a COG entry. I don't want to disturb the cadence of your birthday.

I know you are wondering how I've been. I miss Grandma immensely. Writing about her last month and her birthday helped. Setting up Complexities of Grief (C.O.G.) has been amazing in working through my grief, not just with Grandma's loss but yours as well. It has also helped to have Andrew, Leslie, and Jazz around. Especially Jazz. She really feels more like family than best friend. You would have liked her; she's an Aquarius and has some of your ways.

Jazz has a son who was diagnosed with autism. His name is Gino. He's very tall and a sweet giant. Gino has a way about him that grows on people. I am not immune. He says I'm his favorite aunt.

We are having some of your favorite foods in your honor.

We are recreating the Wendy's chili (with plenty of Nabisco saltines, I promise). Funny but true, they sell Wendy's chili in a can. I haven't bought it, so I don't know if it tastes similar.

I did propose chocolate-covered cherries for dessert, but it was voted down because we don't eat chocolate-covered cherries. If we luck up on some coconut chews, Jazz will have those. I will settle for some Hershey kisses 😏.

On that note, let me get going. 

Love always,
Monica