As of this writing, there has been no follow up in regards to my medication since the last two mishaps. A part of me wants to try something different, yet another part of me just wants to leave things alone. The more the doctor tries new things on me, the more I feel like a guinea pig.
There are no takers for Ma Maow the cat as of yet. I hope that will change as time goes on.
However, I'm not here to talk about my medical condition or the cat.
Since I started my other blog, The Review Board, I have gotten some amazing feedback. I have always loved to read and doing the reviews gives me that opportunity. I can check out different genres and get a feel as to whether I want to read them, or I may decide I never want to again. I also feel like I can assist other writers with feedback in ways to help each other.
Currently, I also do reviews on web shows, TV shows, and movies, but I'm mostly passionate about helping my fellow writer.
I have connected with other writers not only through TRB but also in a few groups I am a part of via Goodreads as well as Google Plus.
One writer in particular welcomed my addition to her own Read and Review Board. I am happy to be included and hope my style of review is a welcome addition to what she already has established.
If one is constantly getting submissions, it is easy to start getting overwhelmed. Checking out what she currently has established as well as other members on her team gives me lots of insight into my own blog:
1. Do I want to start doing open submissions? (Currently, The Review Board has just been selecting pieces--either randomly or pieces that are submitted to us personally by the author)
2. Will my partner and I be able to handle the influx if there is a consensus on open submissions? Will that facilitate the need to recruit other board members?
3. Will Wordpress remain sufficient or is an upgrade in order for the future? For me, as long as I have access to a computer, I haven't had any major issues with Wordpress. However, others have told me that access Wordpress via app has been a bit buggy as it pertains to formatting. I'm still weighing it out.
There are other thoughts, but those top ones come to mind.
I haven't been this active in the writing community since back in the mid 1990's. I was very deep into the Internet community, particularly the poetry community spectrum. I haven't talked a lot in depth about the things which occurred during my time being a moderator and administrator at multiple sites. Some of it is best reserved for a future book--although I may make it more of a spoof than tell-all non-fiction. I'm still playing around with it; I will see what happens.
I'm doing my best to let the old ghosts go and to allow these experiences to stand on their own. So far, they have been great ones. If I didn't go through all the strife in the past, I couldn't truly treasure the people in the present. I am thankful for that.
Greetings everyone! How are things? I hope all is going well with everyone.
I've been dealing with a lot of different things going on in the background. Some of it has to do with my health--there's a couple of issues still ongoing. The rest has to do with really taking stock of a few things and deciding what is luxury and what is necessity.
There are so many things we once thought of as being luxury items.
I remember when there were no cell phones. Heck, I didn't get my first one until 2001. To me, a cell phone was a luxury items.
Now, we, as a society look pretty lost if we don't have them. I can count on one hand how many people actually possess a home line, and even if they do, they have people call them on their cell phones.
I remember the days before cable was digital and high definition. Now there's really no such thing as "basic cable". Even the one with less channels seem to cost an arm and a leg. Then, you get talked into bundling, being under a contract, getting penalized once you get out of the contract, etc.
The Internet used to be a luxury item. Now it's the gateway to everything--from applying to jobs, to finding out information, to getting an education (online classes) and paying bills.
Then you have to think about certain responsibilities, particularly the ones you didn't sign up for.
One particular instance occurred back in May 2011. It was just when I was finding out about my grandfather passing away. Sweetie and I (well it was more the Sweetie than me; I told him to make the decision; I was still grief stricken over my grandpa) decided to take care of a cat, and it was supposed to be on a temporary basis until they got settled in a place that allowed cats. To read the background on it, I've put the reference link for a refresher:
By the time I wrote that post (back in December) I still had hope the original owners would come back for the cat. That was one of the reasons why I tried to not bond too closely with him. Plus, I had just lost my other two cats, which I'd raised since they were 6 months and 1 year, respectively. I secretly think Ma-Maow was holding on to hope, too.
However, six months turned into a year. Then a year into the present day.
Although I'm coming to terms that the original owners aren't coming back, I had to really sit down and make a definite decision. With so many other things going on, especially with the cost of my supplies as well as my types of medicine on the rise, which is more important? Is it more important to ensure Ma-Maow is in a permanent home where he can be well taken care of on a more consistent basis? Or is it more important to keep word to the original owners to hold on to him?
After careful deliberation, I have decided on the former rather than the latter. I can't guarantee, depending on what other medications the doctor decides to put me on, that I'll always have enough to see about properly controlling my condition and make sure he's maintained. Before I could, but within the past couple of months, I'm discovering that I cannot anymore.
In addition, I've also created an ad on Craig's List. I just want him placed in good hands. I have a cat carrier and a dish, so one wouldn't have to buy those things again, unless one absolutely wanted to.
I just ask if you or if you know of anyone who would be interested in having a cat, to spread the word and have them get in contact with me (through the Craig's List ad) or the Trenton Animal Shelter (via Petfinder)
I am drawn to concept, especially if it caters to
something I can relate to.
When I heard about this a show being dedicated to the
fuller figured woman as well as fashions which cater to full figured women,
this definitely seemed like a must win.
So I set my DVR to record House of Curves on Thursday
nights. The reason I have to set my DVR
is because it is in competition with my tuning into Impact Wrestling. It wasn’t much of a problem when Impact came
on at 8pm, but after May, Impact decided to go back to its’ old time of
9pm. Since House of Curves comes on at
10pm, I may not always feel like staying up to catch it once Impact has gone
off.
Usually it ends up being a few days later before I tune
in to the episodes I’ve recorded. Quite
a few things really stood out to me the more I watched the show.
1.Kenyatta, the CEO of House of Curves, can be
assertive in business but not so much in her personal life.
I feel like she has to set
boundaries in how she interacts with her mother. When it comes to things going on with the
business, she exhibits a bit of passive-aggressive behavior. Although she recognizes that her mom is the
investor in the business, she will sometimes do things with the business money
and not notify her mom she’s doing it.
For example, going out to get her nails done. When her mother found out about it, she tried
to justify it as a business expense because it goes towards “maintaining Bella
Rene image”. However, Mama didn't see it
that way.
Also, she told Kendra
to proceed with changes to the website, but didn't notify her Mama about the
changes. She has to definitely find the
right balance—have that heart to heart talk with Mama. Kenyatta has to respect her Mama’s
contribution but she also has to let her Mama knows her limitation as far as
how involved to get in the decision making.
In addition, she really has to
decide what direction she is going in with her boyfriend, Phil. She is still dealing with being able to trust
him since Phil cheated on her a while back.
Phil isn't exactly helping his cause either when he gets caught with
being entertained by the stripper. Was
he really just networking? Was he taking
a break from networking?
Either way,
since he feels he has to be in that type of environment, Kenyatta will never
get the type of comfort she wants. She
knew that Phil wasn't a 9-5 guy from the moment she met him, so she has to make
the ultimate choice what she is truly willing to put up with and what she won’t. Plus it didn’t help that it took almost until
the end of the season for Kenyatta to confess to her family that she was back
with Phil.
2.Kendra may be the tops in Creative Design but is
on the bottom when it comes to tact.
I’m not saying Kendra cannot be
outspoken. In fact, it is one of the
things I admire about her. Plus, it’s
cool to learn she is from my home state, Mississippi (along with Kenyatta and
Sherylnda). I actually prefer her
outspokenness over Sherlynda’s silence (more on that in a moment).
However, there are certain moments when she
could have used a lot more tact, particularly when they were picking out models
to be a part of Bella Rene. She was
making comments—from the natural hair of one to the age of another. She was just being a bit over the top with
it.
It’s Kendra’s attitude that may
give her a boot out of the door. It
doesn’t help that Kelli is in the mix nor her unwillingness to truly work with
Kelli. Although I agree with Kendra’s
assessment (“What’s this skinny mini doing working along with us?”), Kelli
knows her stuff when it comes to public relations, and in the end, what is best
for business comes first.
3.Sherlynda knows her stuff but how will any of us
knows unless she opens her mouth?
I get that she doesn’t want to
rock the boat. She doesn’t want to get
on Kenyatta’s bad side.
However, there
are moments when Sherlynda knows best and Kendra just needs to stay in her
lane. Sherlynda is a student of her
craft, but I feel sometimes Kendra makes her feel less than. That just isn’t cute to me.
Sherlynda needs to speak her mind more. I hope that Kenyatta recently promoting her
will give her that extra push to really let her talents shine. I don’t necessarily think she needs that old
title of Creative Director back. I think
Design Director can have just as much, if not more, clout than being a Creative
Director.
via The Southerner Swag
4. I think Milan is quite pretty. To me, she is wonderful for the runway.
For some reason, however, she seems quite resistant to it. She even questions why she's there half the time, wishing she would have gone into another profession instead. I admit--she leaves me a little confused. Perhaps if there's a second season, Milan will blossom a bit more.
Things I am curious about:
I know there is an emphasis on the models being
tall. Is there no place for a woman
under 5’10”? I’m considered a bit on the
voluptuous side but I’m only about 5’6”.
I know short isn't the standard, but it would be refreshing to see how
things look on a full-figured (or voluptuous medium to short frame).
In addition, I noticed there’s more emphasis on expansive
hips, thighs, and ass. What about the
woman who doesn't have that expanse?
What about the fuller breasted woman?
Most of the women featured in the show don’t have a whole lot to really
work with on the top but quite a bit on the bottom. I’m not saying that’s bad; I just want to see
a better representation. I know I can’t
be the only one with a couple higher than a double or triple D. (looking around)
Just something for them to think about if House of Curves
does a second season.
Dedicated to Trayvon Martin and any of our youth impacted by injustice.
I wrote this piece over a year ago when word first broke out about the murder of Trayvon Martin by George Zimmerman. I couldn't understand why after what he had done, it took so long for them to bring him into custody. It just rubbed me the wrong way.
Yet, I post this poem again--as a reminder that Justice still has not been properly served.
The unfortunate thing is I was having a conversation with one of my friends, and I told him, "I have the sinking feeling that Zimmerman is going to be acquitted. It's not a verdict that I want to see, but the prosecution is making too many mistakes. My hope is that if he is found innocent of second degree murder, at least have him guilty on one of the lesser charges."
I turned in a bit early Saturday night, so I wasn't up when the verdict broke. However, I was greeted with the fallout when I got on my Facebook today.
All of the evidence clearly showed there was no way the self-defense thing was even possible. I just don't get how Zimmerman could have been fully cleared!
I just don't understand why there would be sixteen hours worth of deliberation as to whether a murder took place. Zimmerman murdered someone's teenage son. I would think the main deliberation would be which charge to hit him with and how much time he would spend locked up, not to get that man off completely free!
Even then, it wouldn't have taken sixteen hours.
I'm not trying to make this about race, but let's keep it real: Would there have even been all this if Trayvon was white? The police would have picked up Zimmerman immediately! The verdict would have come back a lot faster. It might not have even taken two hours.
The thing that makes me just as sad and outraged as the verdict is how certain people responded to how the verdict came out.
Sure, people can agree to disagree. There are some people out there who believe the acquittal was the right decision.
The responses I saw were disheartening.
People telling other people to "calm down; it isn't that serious." People celebrating victory on other people's statuses who are hurting over the verdict. These people do this behind a computer screen, but I bet those same people wouldn't be brave enough to come in someone else's face with that madness!
Those same people wouldn't be saying the same thing if it happened to their children. How dare they come on someone's status, wall and think being that asinine would be all right?
A person has the right to say what she wants to say on her Facebook page. If you (people who thought the Zimmerman outcome was just) have something to say, why not say it on your own page?
Why debate with someone how she should feel about the situation? You think by doing that, it is supposed to make the other person feel better? No, it just shows how much of a douche you are--that you don't truly realize that the imbalance, the injustice still continues. In this country, there's only JUSTICE for SOME.
There's no debating a DEAD BODY! Trayvon is dead! This outcome shows there's still no justice for him and other children who have lost their lives due to being unfairly profiled.
America is still going in the wrong direction. It's like we take a few steps forward (Supreme Court ruling on DOMA) but take many steps back (invalidating key parts of the Voter Rights Act of 1965). It shows we have to be the primary protectors of our children because the justice system continues to be an epic fail--not just for Trayvon Martin's family but for other families.
Quite a few things have happened between my last medical post (Real Time) and now. Time to slow it down a bit and fill you in.
Around the end of May, I had some more blood work done to check the status of my cholesterol and my A1C. My A1C number is holding steady, but there are some issues with my LDL numbers as it pertains to my cholesterol. It has caused some concern for the doctor, which is why he has opted to change what I'm deeming "my pill cocktail."
The first thing he wanted to try was to increase my Pravastatin dosage to 80mg. I advised him it's best he not do that. When he inquired as to why, I told him that the doctor before him (Dr. B.) had attempted that before, but because of the severe muscle pain I was in, she took me off of it.
Once that was taken off the table, then he suggested this other medication called Niaspan. He said that other than feeling like I was having a hot flash, I shouldn't have any bothersome side effects.
He should have warned me about the heart attack I was going to have, considering the cost of the Niaspan.
When my social worker looked it up on the computer, the prices were ranging from $109 (and that was ordering the stuff on line) to $122. That is for 30 of them at a discount. That's more than I'm paying for my testing supplies.
However, since I was running a tad bit low on funds, I wouldn't be able to get the medication until sometime next week.
Or so I thought.
I decided to do some further research on my own. I went to the manufacturer's website and there was a coupon I could print out to try a 30-day supply of the Niaspan for free. I figured I would give it a shot.
I went to my normal pharmacist to ask if I could use it. Luckily for me, it went through, but she advised me that this was a one time thing, and that further refills would run me $120. There's no generic for this medication, either.
Let's just say one doesn't have to worry about refills.
I like the look of this picture, but feeling like you're on fire is not a good feeling...
Once I started taking the medication, I was feeling a bit hot, but I never expected to feel like my entire flesh was on fire and for the amount of muscular pain I was in. I went to the doctor to let him know, and I was taken off of the Niaspan.
Then, he decided to put me on Tricor. Luckily there's a generic for it (called fenofibrate). The cost of it was still a bit much, but the social worker was able to work with me to where it was affordable. Unfortunately, this wasn't a good solution, either, since I tended to get chest pains and trouble breathing.
So currently, I'm not on anything to fully control the cholesterol. I am taking my fish oil as well as the reduced dosage of metformin which has been working pretty well for me.
There are other things going on...but...
You ever reach a point where there's a limit to how much you want to share through a certain outlet? As far as the other things going on medically, I'm at the full sharing limit. I will reach out to those closest to me as far as a full fill in.
It's not a death sentence, but it does cause me a bit of concern as it pertains to other things I would like to do. Once I've fully educated myself and have gotten over the initial shock, perhaps I'll be open to sharing the other developments.
As far as the cholesterol battle, I'll keep you guys informed.
Not too long after I wrote the post on MP and his unstable gf, they got into a huge argument concerning her behavior. She basically told MP that he had to choose between associating with the Sweetie and me and maintaining his relationship with her. She said there was no compromise; he could not do both.
This was followed by taking her off his friend's list, putting me back on his friend's list, and him getting back to the old MP before all of this stuff happened.
You would think this would be the end of the story, right?
Well, just when you think things couldn't get any crazier.
She still continued to text the Sweetie as well as me. Mostly it was me--however, this time, she was trying to apologize, say hello, and act like her stuff didn't stink.
I did go through the process of questioning how much could be done about it from a legal standpoint. Apparently, each police department handles these type of things different. Where I live at, the majority of the messages have to be of a threatening or disrespectful nature, so they told me if she started cursing and doing things like threatening my life to call them in.
However, I didn't realize that Sweetie and I wasn't the only one facing harassment. Apparently, the psycho has been bothering MP's sister as well and their interactions have been a lot more animated than what I've had with her. MP's sister said she was going to the cops and pressing charges--to hold on to any evidence we have in case the cops needed it.
All I can say is since MP's sister has said that, I haven't received any more messages from the chic. Hopefully, she is on snooze permanently.
Hmm...that side tail does look like the business, eh?
Greetings everyone!
It’s been a while since I've done any type of Soul
Cleanse. Heck, it’s been a tiny minute
since I've done a personal blog with the prequel to the Life Event, the Life
Event itself and mixed reactions.
How does it feel?
How does it feel to be an actual wife?
To be on the inside rather than the outside looking in?
I want to share with you (if that's all right) a hindsight and some discoveries. It may not be in any particular order; I just put them down according to how they flowed out.
Discovery 1: One of the discoveries is that one has to let go of the
fantasy of marriage. What I mean by the
fantasy of marriage is when one thinks the marriage will stay in the same
ambiance as the moment of the wedding and the honeymoon. I'm not saying a marriage cannot be full of happiness the majority of the time, just to not be surprised when there are some off days.
Discovery 2: Also, it is easier to get married than to maintain marriage. It’s like cashing in the Money in the Bank
contract when you see the champ is wounded after a match and can’t defend
himself. Sure it was easy getting that
belt; the challenge is in keeping it.
Discovery 3: In addition, there are so many people who say being
single is where it’s at. If that is
indeed the case, it doesn't make sense for me to get more attention now (as far
as being noticed) than back in the day when I didn't have anyone. Was I ugly before and suddenly got sexy once
a ring was put on my finger?
Discovery 4: Marriage is more than a piece of paper. There's a mentality, a maturity that goes along with being married. It is not easy to promise yourself to one person. You can't hold on to single type acts when you are in the play of matrimony.
Looking Back:
There are some who will say that since the Sweetie and I
lived together for quite a while (since early 2010), it should feel no
different now that a ring has been put on the finger.
On this, I would have to disagree.
Hindsight: Perhaps it would have been better if he and
I had spent some more time not residing in the same place. One of the reasons I say this is due to the
fact that he didn't have that real taste of being fully independent (like not
having a roommate/bachelor lifestyle) prior to us living together. Also, if he and I were to have a spot, it
would be one that we picked out together and could truly be ours, rather than
my being in the apartment for a little over two years, not having to deal with
anyone, and then having the space occupied.
It’s a different feel.
You feel like you’re together in the space, rather than one person just
residing in the space. In that sense, I
confess to putting a slight stunt in the development.
(In the future, I hope this gets rectified.)
Being a significant other to someone is more than just a
title. There is a demeanor, a
responsibility that goes along with it, especially when you are making the
transition from girlfriend to fiancee’ to wife (even from boyfriend to fiance' to husband) .
As the bond between us began to deepen, interdependence, independence,
and cohesiveness as a couple walked (and still walks) a fine line. (more on this further down)
I had to really stop and take a look at certain
things. Were certain behaviors
mannerisms of being a good mate?
I also had to stop and take a good assessment of my
circle. Were those people truly happy
for me no matter what? Or were they
waiting for something to go wrong to speak the mantra, “Bump that mutha fucka;
you don’t need him!”? Did their
viewpoints come from a truly objective place or from an understandable place of
pain?
All of that had to be taken into account.
I am one who is in tune with the twitching of my 3rd
Eye when it comes to individuals. The
Sweetie is a bit more open minded (I don’t want to automatically assume blind)
when it comes to new people trying to become closer to the fold.
Firm Stance: I feel anyone coming in that is new (whether
single or coupled) should really take the time to get to know the both of us,
not just one of us. To me, marriage is a
package deal.
It just doesn't feel copacetic if I’m getting to know
someone new and the Sweetie isn't aware of the new person that has
entered. Let’s all talk; let’s all get
together. There may be an instance where
the new person may get along with one better than the other but it shouldn't
get to a point where the bond of husband and wife is disrespected. There is a right way and a wrong way of doing
anything.
In addition, for those old friends—especially in the
dynamics the Sweetie and I have (majority of his friends: female; majority of
my friends: male), the message has to be conveyed—respect has to be given to
the union. If in the past, the person
felt like they could call all hours of the day of night, he has to be put on
notice that same protocol in a married situation may be viewed at as
disrespectful. It’s my responsibility to
let my male friends know thoroughly, just like it’s the Sweetie’s responsibility
to let his female friends know that he can’t be Dr. Phil 24-7.
Let me go back to that tightrope—the balancing act
between interdependence and coupledom.
There are some activities he likes that I’m not crazy about, just like
there are some things I’m into that isn't his cup of tea. Yet I don’t think I have to always be
involved in what he is active in.
I
still feel like it’s important for a person to enjoy things outside of spending
time with the other person without feeling some type of guilt.
Would I like him to be open to trying some
new things at least once? Yes
indeed.
Am I going to demand it out of
him each and every time? No.
The worse thing that can happen is that he
hates it; then he doesn't have to do it again.
But what if he likes it?
Discovery 5: (My Take) On the same token, one can’t get so caught up in the
other activities that you forget you are in a relationship—where one isn't
carving out time for the other person.
Coupledom shouldn't start feeling like a chore; it should be something
joyous—a way to mentally, spiritually, and emotionally connect. One shouldn't mind putting off the activity
just for that time to invest it with the husband or the wife.
I know there will be varying views on this, but I've
never needed a mate (even before I got married) to be constantly under me. That hasn't changed now that I am married.
As a FYI: Being a wife doesn't make me an altogether different
person. To me, it’s an added role. It’s a representation of another side of
me. I can be the person who goes outside
the home and makes the money. Yet, I
still take great pride in being able to provide a home cooked meal, an
organized space, and trying to maintain a clean space.
So I laugh when some people come out of the
woodwork and say, “You’ve changed. This
isn’t you!”
