2022: The Lessons (4-6)

 

Greetings everybody! It's the Unleashed One. Welcome to the last day of 2022. I hope all of you are doing well so far.

I do not celebrate the ringing in of the New Year like others. It's rare that I'm up to see the clock strike midnight. However, I do take the opportunity to reflect on lessons learned, or when I have extended time to write, see if there have been modifications, updates, or challenges with what I set forth the year before.

What can I say? I don't have extended time today. I am going to attend a service, so I want to get extra sleep prior to preparation. I showered tonight, so that will save me some time. The longest part (and even that is shorter compared to most) is my makeup.

I already talked about the 1st three lessons in a previous post. Let's get into the black-eyed peas and collard greens of this section.

If something isn't working in the present, I don't have to continue with it until it does. It's okay to scrap it and try something else.

Many practices I've tried to incorporate have involved some trial and error. Most I've been able to stick to. There were others that had me twisted in knots because they weren't being conducive. Once I changed my lens of "wins and losses" to a "laboratory of experimentation", it made me feel better if things didn't pan out. "The chemistry wasn't there" sounds more soothing than "This is an epic fail". 

The definition of vacation is subjective.

I did not get the opportunity to travel like I wanted to, but I did have restful staycations. It made me realize that I can envision my time off however I want as well as view travel differently. This new mindset heading into 2023 will lead me to do new things as well as meet new people. I am open to seeing what is possible.

Being cautiously optimistic weighs lighter on the spirit than being consistently pessimistic.

The trajectory of a day is determined by what energy is manifested. If defaulting to disaster is one's norm, then the whole day feels like a boobie trap of mishaps. If one looks at each day as a clean slate, then the tone for optimism is more dominant.

I'm not saying that optimism prevents disasters. It won't stop Mother Nature from exhibiting unusual weather. Or prevent the person from cutting me off in traffic. It may not even prevent people from taking their bad moods out on me or horrific events from happening around the world.

I can only control myself. I can control my reaction so that one event won't disrupt the tone of the remainder of the day. I can give myself time to retreat and reset to prevent from being a walking target for triggers. 

Reframing fear rhetoric and negative self-talk takes practice. One has to practice each and every day for mastery. I am not a master yet, but I'm better equipped this year than I am last year ... and the previous year.

I am not as quick to catastrophize as I once was. I look at the thought to see if it's based on what's real. Is it judgment, and if so, is it a fair one? More often than not, the "punishment" doesn't fit the crime, so I give myself kindness and grace, then move forward.

This helps me to still have hope in humanity and what it can become if it just healed itself.

On that note ...

31 Days of Journaling: Days 1 & 2

 

Hello. The Unleashed One here. Welcome to a new month, which is also the final month in 2021.

It has been a very long time since I have committed daily to journaling. However, as they say, if you do something often enough, it becomes a habit.

I miss when journaling was second nature and I am hoping that at the end of this challenge, it will return to some sense of normalcy.

Will it be every day from here on out? How I feel at the end will tell the tale.

What I am not going to do is get caught up in the planning of what I want to talk about. I am going to take it old school. Yahoo 360! style, if you will. Those who know me from that time frame will get the reference.

Day 1: December 1st

Today, I am sitting in the laundromat, just across the bridge. Initially, I traveled to this one but the one I normally go to stayed crowded and started packing wire baskets. It makes me think that someone was making off with them or that they were raggedy and hadn't got repaired.

Well, I discovered I like the setup of this one, so this has become my mainstay for the moment. At the time I am starting this entry, it's around 10:30.

Quiet.

A great number of machines are available.

Weekday.

This past Monday marked the 1st day of everyone being back in the office. I told my Spirit Sista that I felt it was a bit too soon. That if they really wanted everyone to return, the departments should have been on a staggered schedule, not everyone back in the building at once.

After Monday, my vacation started. I still had "use or lose" time left.

Initially, it was supposed to be Jazz, Gino, and I going to Florida, but since we were already down there in September, it didn't make sense to go there again. Besides, after my appointment with Dr. Kyle, he told me to not have so many long-distance trips with me driving. Florida in September and Mississippi in October did a number on me. My knee joints were in significant pain and discomfort leading up to my cortisone injections once I returned.

Well, one of my co-workers called me (since I am not one who checks my work email while on vacation) to let me know that someone had tested positive for COVID-19 on Tuesday, so all of the buildings has to be thoroughly sanitized. 2 days in and positive cases already popping up? They may as well reinstate the hybrid schedule. I actually like it and wouldn't mind it being a mainstay.

This is the 1st time in years that I have actually felt like decorating and celebrating the holidays. My mood tends to shift during the winter anyway. Honestly, since my grandfather died, celebrating Thanksgiving and Christmas has not felt the same. It wasn't even the same with significant others because they either weren't into it or didn't celebrate it. That made it easier for depression to arrive and just seep in until the temperatures got warmer.

However, I want to do a different take on Christmas. I don't want it to be heavily focused on loads of gifts but on activities. Creating moments. I also don't want to do the staple foods one normally associated with Christmas. Yet, if it cannot be helped, I would like a traditional take on the tried and true.

More to come tomorrow.

Day 2: December 2nd

Can you guess which body part I'm training today?

I am here at the gym. Currently a little past five in the morning. I am pleased that I am almost back to where it was before the knee tear I had sometime back. Some people assume that the injuries that happened to me were mostly caused in the gym.

That isn't always the case.

This recent knee tweak happened some weeks ago while I was outside walking. 

The one prior (which led to the specialist diagnosing me with arthritis and deterioration of my knee joint in the first place) happened during one of my vacations years ago. I was squatting to grab something from a shelf at Walmart. There was a pop. The end, as I say, is HERstory.

The only ones I can contribute so far to the gym were the one and only time I attempted the stepping machine and a shoulder blade tear from increasing my weight too soon on my shoulder press.

Back in November, I opted to do a switch from my regimen. My previous regimen involved the following:

• CST (Chest, Shoulder, Triceps)
• B&B (Back & Biceps)
• Legs
• Rest Day/Cardio Focused
• Repeat

Currently, I am trying cardio focus/rest on the weekends and doing strength training on the weekdays.

The reasons for exploring this change:

1. The gym I go to now doesn't open until 7 on the weekends. By the time I have done strength and cardio training, it's close to 9. On the weekends, I prefer to eat my breakfast earlier than later.
2. I want to see if circuit workouts will suffice on days when I have less time to do full training.
3. I am attempting to intermingle isolated abdominals training (usually on my leg day).
4. I am experimenting with different splits on alternating weeks. Instead of doing Chest, Shoulders, and Triceps: Chest and Back. Instead of doing Back & Biceps: Shoulders and Arms. On those weeks is when I combine abs and legs, plus 1 circuit (to ensure each body part is still getting trained twice a week).
5. Since returning to work, I can utilize my breaks to get walking (cardio in), which cuts down on the time I spend on cardio at the gym. That is, on days when it isn't too chilly.

Since the switch, here are the Pros and Cons thus far.

Pros

1. On the weekends, I can choose to sleep a little later, since I am not doing strength training.
2. On cardio-focused days, I can maximize the opportunity to get more steps.
3. If I run late or don't feel motivated to wake up early for strength training, I can pack my things and choose to train after work.
4. On those days when I work out later, it gives me the opportunity to work through my anxiety, especially in situations where the gym is packed.
5. When I work out later, the chance of me falling asleep quickly increases.
6. With the circuit days. I can get a full-body workout (sans legs) in a fraction of the time.

Cons

1. There's not as much time to recover when exercising back to back.
2. For me, there are certain body parts that take longer to recover when going heavy.
3. With the Chest & Back training, I discovered that I have to choose which body part to do more weight on. I found out the hard way that going heavy with both on the same day is a bad idea.
4. It takes more inner motivation to get going, especially when one was used to getting a rest day every 4th day.
5. On days when I end up working out later, there's less availability with certain machines.

Just to expand a bit more, let's take this week. On Monday, I did CST. Tuesday, I did B&B. Originally, I was going to train legs yesterday, but I was (1) feeling muscle soreness from Monday's training and (2) experiencing some side effects from my flu shot. Therefore, I decided to take Wednesday as rest/cardio day. I felt well enough to do my legs training today, but I still feel sore from the training that I did prior. 

The end of January will mark 90 days. I will access and give my verdict as to whether I want to continue with this one, go back to my push-pull-legs-rest split, or a hybrid of the two.

Okay. I will check in tomorrow.

Deuces.

Changing My View on Mindfulness

Hello. The Unleashed One here. When I last blogged, I was trying to make up my mind how to use up the remaining 15 carry over days of vacation time. I made the decision to utilize four of those days (on Memorial Day my work spot is closed anyway) to do a small bit of traveling outside of New Jersey. I settled on a mix between Ocean City, Maryland and Fenwick Island, Delaware ... a mix because they are like twenty minutes from each other. In addition, there is public transportation called the Beach Bus where you can ride on it from 6 am until 6 am the next day for $3.00. 

It would be the first time I'd driving my own car for three hours. For the longer road trips, I would just rent a car. Because I had a few other long distance trips planned for later in the year, I put a cap on what I'd be willing to splurge on. The car rental idea got the chopping block for this trip. Luckily, new tires had been placed on Finesse the car to give me even more confidence that she was road ready.

This and a few more of my journal entries cover the majority of my vacation. This is going to be Day One (originally scribed on May 27th).

I typically scoffed at the concept of mindfulness. My brain is one that is constantly ongoing with the real, imagined, and anticipatory. Originally, I was going to abort making the "Me" cation a ritual, but my best friend insisted I should do it. It did help that things fell in place in the nick of time. It was as if the Universe put an exclamation point on it. A confirmation that it should be a non negotiable ritual for my Spiritual health.

This was my 1st time venturing out of state for the "Me" cation. I was feeling bold, wanting to go out of my comfort zone. Not only venturing out of state but going somewhere I'd never been, plus taking Finesse. Talk about challenging my anxiety.

Mindfulness actually helped in spades today. I hate driving through or near Philadelphia. The narrow roads, traffic, bridges, PA drivers ... you name it. My body always has the propensity to tighten up the closer I get.

Yet, this time was different. I paid attention to the little things. The blue of the sky. The lack of clouds. The feel of the breeze on my scalp and the rest of my skin. The Sirius XM radio station blasting feel good hits from the seventies and eighties. Deep inhales and slow exhales of my breath.

It all melted away. The fright. The foreboding. The angst. I took each thing as it came. It disappeared as quickly as one would blink. The latter part of the drive was the most relaxing, exploring a road in Delaware I'd never been on. Green and sky mostly, soon shops, restaurants, and signs signaling the different beaches. Then, just road and water. A green/blue mesh like my newly acquired pendant and bracelet set. Soon, back to busy and bustle, signaling the change from Delaware to Maryland. Route 1 was now a Coastal Highway, and with that, the end of my journey.

After settling in my upgraded room (now part street view/part ocean view), I sat on the balcony with Becoming by Michelle Obama in tow. As I sat to read, a curious little girl and her mother emerged on the balcony to my left. She was overflowing with energy, wanting to defy the restraints and climb on the rails. Mom lead her back inside. The girl's fearlessness reminded me of Tyrion the feline back at the house.

On the balcony to my right, an older gentleman in conversation with someone on the phone. His tone: direct, passionate, and understanding. Admirable, something lost in the generations after my own. I lost myself in reading Becoming but the aura of the man made me feel at ease. At the end of a chapter, I would look toward the ocean, in appreciation and reflection.

I am thinking of who I am becoming: someone different or just the enhanced original? I don't fear feeling anymore: I look at it in a weird fascination, like some alien life form that I am trying to communicate with and decipher.

I am on the balcony a few hours before I come in. I made the right decision to stay close: the place I planned to explore was to be extra busy because of the holiday. I am not sure whether I was more relaxed, my guard was lowered, or both but strangers kept wanting to engage in mini conversations with me. Amazingly enough I wasn't irked like I normally was. I just went with the flow, even enjoying that frozen Georgia Sunset, feeling good that even if the liquor's effects did sneak up on me, I was less than 200 feet from my room.

The day was quiet but I am okay with that. I will partake of more adventures come tomorrow.

Peace.