Sunday, June 2, 2019

Changing My View on Mindfulness

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Hello. The Unleashed One here. When I last blogged, I was trying to make up my mind how to use up the remaining 15 carry over days of vacation time. I made the decision to utilize four of those days (on Memorial Day my work spot is closed anyway) to do a small bit of traveling outside of New Jersey. I settled on a mix between Ocean City, Maryland and Fenwick Island, Delaware ... a mix because they are like twenty minutes from each other. In addition, there is public transportation called the Beach Bus where you can ride on it from 6 am until 6 am the next day for $3.00. 

It would be the first time I'd driving my own car for three hours. For the longer road trips, I would just rent a car. Because I had a few other long distance trips planned for later in the year, I put a cap on what I'd be willing to splurge on. The car rental idea got the chopping block for this trip. Luckily, new tires had been placed on Finesse the car to give me even more confidence that she was road ready.

This and a few more of my journal entries cover the majority of my vacation. This is going to be Day One (originally scribed on May 27th).

I typically scoffed at the concept of mindfulness. My brain is one that is constantly ongoing with the real, imagined, and anticipatory. Originally, I was going to abort making the "Me" cation a ritual, but my best friend insisted I should do it. It did help that things fell in place in the nick of time. It was as if the Universe put an exclamation point on it. A confirmation that it should be a non negotiable ritual for my Spiritual health.

This was my 1st time venturing out of state for the "Me" cation. I was feeling bold, wanting to go out of my comfort zone. Not only venturing out of state but going somewhere I'd never been, plus taking Finesse. Talk about challenging my anxiety.😮😮😮

Mindfulness actually helped in spades today. I hate driving through or near Philadelphia. The narrow roads, traffic, bridges, PA drivers ... you name it. My body always has the propensity to tighten up the closer I get.

Yet, this time was different. I paid attention to the little things. The blue of the sky. The lack of clouds. The feel of the breeze on my scalp and the rest of my skin. The Sirius XM radio station blasting feel good hits from the seventies and eighties. Deep inhales and slow exhales of my breath.

It all melted away. The fright. The foreboding. The angst. I took each thing as it came. It disappeared as quickly as one would blink. The latter part of the drive was the most relaxing, exploring a road in Delaware I'd never been on. Green and sky mostly, soon shops, restaurants, and signs signaling the different beaches. Then, just road and water. A green/blue mesh like my newly acquired pendant and bracelet set. Soon, back to busy and bustle, signaling the change from Delaware to Maryland. Route 1 was now a Coastal Highway, and with that, the end of my journey.

After settling in my upgraded room (now part street view/part ocean view), I sat on the balcony with Becoming by Michelle Obama in tow. As I sat to read, a curious little girl and her mother emerged on the balcony to my left. She was overflowing with energy, wanting to defy the restraints and climb on the rails. Mom lead her back inside. The girl's fearlessness reminded me of Tyrion the feline back at the house.

On the balcony to my right, an older gentleman in conversation with someone on the phone. His tone: direct, passionate, and understanding. Admirable, something lost in the generations after my own. I lost myself in reading Becoming but the aura of the man made me feel at ease. At the end of a chapter, I would look toward the ocean, in appreciation and reflection.

I am thinking of who I am becoming: someone different or just the enhanced original? I don't fear feeling anymore: I look at it in a weird fascination, like some alien life form that I am trying to communicate with and decipher.

I am on the balcony a few hours before I come in. I made the right decision to stay close: the place I planned to explore was to be extra busy because of the holiday. I am not sure whether I was more relaxed, my guard was lowered, or both but strangers kept wanting to engage in mini conversations with me. Amazingly enough I wasn't irked like I normally was. I just went with the flow, even enjoying that frozen Georgia Sunset, feeling good that even if the liquor's effects did sneak up on me, I was less than 200 feet from my room.😃😛

The day was quiet but I am okay with that. I will partake of more adventures come tomorrow.


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