Friday, August 28, 2020

Affirmations August: Entry 9

 aloha


Hi ya there! The Unleashed One here.

It is hard to believe that August is wrapping up. It seems almost yesterday that August was just getting started. If you are tardy to the party and want to check out my other affirmations, check the links at the conclusion of this entry.

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Have you ever heard the saying, "Nobody likes a show-off"? I did, throughout most of my life. Through my experiences, the people who "showed off" weren't well-liked. I was taught that being well-liked was highly important because likeability can get you places. It all falls back to the "catch flies with honey better than vinegar" type scenario.

The flip side of this was what to do during times when I was successful. Did I treat the triumph as a treasure, keeping it close to my person for fear that someone would steal it? Did I keep mum, for fear that I wouldn't be liked if I chose to speak on it? Or even worse, and I found myself doing this quite a bit, I apologize for achieving something that someone else around me was not, did not, or could not do.

I believe that it is inbred in humans to strive for success, ways to improve one's self so that one can set herself apart from others.  It is the driving force behind science, to improve the livelihood of species and its surroundings. But, how can the world ever know of these great feats, if they aren't talked about? How can a person be proud but receive messages of "not being boastful" and "being humble"?

If one is getting interviewed for a job, for example, is she supposed to look down at the ground and be soft-spoken while speaking about achievements and things she's done well? Or does she make eye contact and speak confidently about those accolades? At the end of the day, the presentation of one's self is important, and the ones who receive the spotlight are the ones who can speak on their contributions openly and without apology.

It is a challenge to know some people who haven't gotten as far as I have, although our origins are similar. However, no matter how much sympathy I may feel for the other's plight, I cannot make myself small so the other person can be huge.

I encounter this even when in romantic relationships: where some of the guys I were involved with were intimidated. This stemmed anywhere from the amount of money I made, to the amount of education, to my prowess as a writer. It seemed as if anything I did that was impressive, they would deliver signals (spoken and unspoken) to not shine because it made them look useless, stupid, or less like a man.

After my last romantic relationship, I had to re-examine if this behavior was healthy: to keep silent on all I've done during my time on this earth just to make another person feel good. In my opinion, it is not. A healthy relationship should foster growth and success for both people, not just one. When someone I love or care about achieves something positive, I am happy for that person, not behaving with spite. 

Unfortunately, there are individuals out there who will say they are cheering for someone when secretly wishing for their downfall. But, that has never been me.

This particular affirmation, "Never apologize for your success" is a reminder for me to not engage in any more relationships (networking, friendship, or romantic) that require me, as a prerequisite, to downplay what I bring to the table so they can look strong. 

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In case you missed it:

Entry 8

Entry 7

Entry 6

Entry 5

Entry 4

Entry 3

Entry 2

Entry 1

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