Hello everyone! The Unleashed One here. Before I get into the next Affirmation, I have an announcement as it pertains to an adjustment.
Initially, I planned on doing fifteen affirmations for this month. However, because of the extra hands on deck needed for my 9 to 5, I will be decreasing that number slightly. My aim is now 12, but if I can get to 10, I'll be a very happy camper.
In addition, as opposed to putting the links to the previous entries before talking about the new subject, I'm going to save that until after I'm done with the fresh content.
Let's get started. 😏
If we want to break this topic in its most basic form, it's the neverending debate of what really makes the building blocks of a person: nature or nurture. Some say that it's equal. Some say it's nature. Others believe it is nurture.
Nature is internal. Nurture is external. I am aware the dictionary gives a more complex definition, but for the sake of this particular entry, simple is all I need.
By nature, I am a relatively quiet person. I don't typically initiate conversations unless someone asks me a question or presents a topic of interest I'd like to chime in on. I am also not a fan of huge social gatherings (unless it's an event I enjoy, and then I am able to mute my discomfort). I am fine with my solitude and like having my independence. No matter how many external factors have come along, that hasn't switched that which is part of my nature.
Nurture encompass external events that can come along which may shape some of your behaviors, even tap into altering one's nature.
Examples of my external events are as follows:
(1) It used to be in my nature to trust someone's word when agreeing to pay me back. Now, due to being in situations where I never got paid back, I either (a) flat out refuse or (b) have that person sign something in writing with the how and the when.
(2) I used to not have issues confiding in other people. However, due to being betrayed by those close to me, along with not everyone viewing friendship with the same lens as me, I keep a lot of things private. For me, if I label you a friend, it's not a title I give freely. Therefore, if I never called you a friend, then you never were one to me. But I know, in this day and age, that some people don't give that word much credence.
So ... what does that have to do with my affirmation?
There is also nurture in the form of extending yourself to care for others. If you are an individual that has a strong penchant for empathy, then it is very easy for nurturing to make itself part of one's nature. Since I am an empath, I have waddled into this territory where I've gone above and beyond for others, not stopping to look at ...
Whether it was appreciated
Whether it was reciprocated
How it impacted me in the short term
How it impacted me in the long term
There are certain individuals who capitalize on those who are very giving, so they continue to take. Then, once your well is dry (financially, emotionally, mentally), they are on to the next person. I had to take responsibility for my part, for in hindsight, there were a few signs that the nurturing wasn't appreciated (entitlement manifested) and/or the nurturing wasn't reciprocated (behaving unconcerned or uncaring about my life in general). Nevertheless, these unfortunate events serve as lessons learned.
I learned the importance of boundaries and setting limits. I can not flourish in a supportive capacity when I don't take the time to nurture myself. I can not flourish in maximum capacity in the world if I don't honor all the parts that make me ... well, me.
I was prepared that some people would be left behind once I did this, but I do wonder even if those individuals acted cool with it and came along, how many would have stayed? In any event, I don't miss dealing with the drama of having people that aren't fully invested in me.
For someone very used to being selfless, it actually takes practice to be selfish, but by nurturing myself a little every day, I think I am well on my way to achieving balance.
Thanks for reading.
P.S. If you missed any other entries for Affirmations August, click on the links below: