Hello everyone. The Unleashed One here. I hope that all of you are doing well and staying safe. This next affirmation came about slowly but surely. I will share some tidbits of how I arrived here.
If someone were to ask me if I'm more like my grandma or my grandpa, I would have to say my grandpa.
I am very particular about the cuisine I eat as well as who prepares the dish.
I enjoy riding in my car just playing music (no passenger needed).
There are certain shows I look at which I never tire of. I tend to be an early riser.
Yet, one of the first traits said about my grandpa was how nice he was. Sometimes, he was nice to his detriment.
In my last conversation with my grandma, we talked about some of the things Grandpa would do. My grandma recalled with a tinge of sadness how at times, the very niceness and helpfulness he extended to others he didn't receive in return. It made me think of the situations I've been in where I've behaved with that same level of niceness and extended that same type of help, only to have it backfire.
In those moments where I discovered "I'd been had", it made me upset. Like, how dare they? And how could they?
But it all boils down to what one allows.
Were there signs there where I should have pumped the brakes and put a hold on the amount of effort and energy I was putting out?
The following event that took place quite some time ago was my breaking point, aka "what the hell am I doing" moment.
Please know, I wish no ill will toward this person. I really hope he has finally found his way. However, there has been quite a bit of emotional carnage that will always keep this person at bay.
Side Note: I'm just realizing that this person's birthday is coming up, and there was one year that we celebrated it together since we are both under the same Zodiac sign. Is it a coincidence? Perhaps.
Back in 2008, I was going through a lot of transition. My last relationship had ended. I had moved from one city to another. I was putting in a lot of hours at my job. It's amazing how I even had time to write. He was one of the people who was a listening ear once my relationship ended, and I am still grateful to him (as well as many others) who were around. I was in a pretty dark place ... on autopilot trying to push through.
It made sense to want to meet this individual who was there for me. As I got to know about him and his story, I realized he had missed out on a lot. I did things, not for going tit for tat or expecting anything more, but because I believed that is what friends did for each other.
As time went on, there were a lot of things that didn't add up. He was in dire straits but was too prideful to do what he had to do to get out of them. He was more concerned about means to get something expensive than he was over having enough money to have sustenance for himself. He talked a good game but over time, it became obvious that he was pitching his dilemma to more than just me for the sake of getting the help he needed.
At some point, times got financially rough for the person he was staying with. She decided to cut her losses and return to her family to rebuild. Needless to say, he couldn't come along for the ride. He automatically assumed that since I had the extra space that it would be his.
However, I had concerns. He hadn't worked since the time he stayed with this other person. He did not have any transportation of any kind nor did he have a license.
In addition, I enjoyed living by myself. I had only been out of my relationship for a little over a year at this point. Besides, as my grandma had taught me over the years, "You don't want anyone broke staying with you. That person has to have something to contribute."
When I refused, he felt some type of way. He accused me of being a false friend and negated everything I did for him out of the goodness of my heart. Then, he attempted to slander me to our mutual friends.
On top of that, he wanted ME to apologize to HIM.
That is when my Southern flared up. It's one thing to be upset at my decision. It's another thing to try to attack my character and try to besmirch me in front of other people. It would also be different if he had put forth any effort to try to make things easier on his former roommate (which he hadn't) or demonstrated the walk behind all of that talk about all of the things he wanted to do.
A person has to crawl before he can walk. He wasn't willing to do that, just look for different individuals of the softer sex to bail him out.
Once you get me twisted, that's where I draw the line and quit messing with you.
In June 2009, I drew the line. Not just with him. He was just the tipping point of the boundaries and reserve I should have had in place from Day One.
Even God helps those who help themselves.
If God has that condition in place, then why shouldn't I? 😇
If you have missed any of the previous affirmations, you may click on them below.