Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Marriage: The Verdict



Reference: Day 25: My Fantasy Wedding; Marriage Evolution-Part Two; Relationship Credos; Relationship-Observation; Love Lessons Learned; Married Life Evaluation-Part One

I have done quite a few blogs on love and loss.  Most of it was prompted by the Love/Loss 30 Day Challenge hosted by The Kween a few years back.

Not only did those entries serve as a catharsis for me, but it had me take a look at some of my behaviors as well as if some of my views on certain subjects would remain stagnant or start changing.

One of those subjects is marriage.

Certain people I go way back with are either divorced, divorcing, or separating.  Even for those who are married, some of them have a sense of longing or they don't seem as happy.  It was as if some were looking for the wedding, wanted the term husband and wife, yet not willing to put in the work of what it entails.

In these times, I know a few people who are happy just with living together, yet not having the title.  I even looked at two articles with two entirely different views on the matter.

Verdict on Cohabitation vs Marriage; Does Marriage Really Make People Happier?

Yet after all of the debate, one thing does remain consistent.  I still want to get married.



Then after that, I had to decide whether I wanted to keep holding out for my initially planned wedding (see Day 25 link above) to finally pan out.

Quite a few stumbling blocks took place--from having to reallocate saved money to the wedding party not panning out (couple break ups, reliability issues, awol maid of honor/wedding coordinator).

I had to think whether I wanted to go through all the hassle or would it be better to invest the money in something else---or for a grander ceremony later on.



I've decided that life is too short.


As much as I want everyone to be around for it, I have recognized it is not one hundred percent feasible at this stage of the game.



The wedding, although it's deemed "the bride's day", is a display to others celebrating your commitment to each other, and that needs to be as drama free as possible. I'd rather invest the money in a good honeymoon or a down payment on a house.

I'm sure my close friends and family will understand why I have decided to do things in this way.  It wasn't to intentionally exclude them.  I do want to do a renewal of vows a few years down the line, so people can come when I have that.  By that time, some more duckets will be in a row.

Peace.




1 comment:

Angela Lykebudda White said...

I'm so happy for you and i hope they understand and really a marriage is between a man and woman having everyone around is a plus. Be happy Be love. Much love Monica