Hmm...can you guess which show this is from? This definitely means I am showing my age (LOL).
How has everyone been doing? I know it has been a little while since I have checked in. It hasn't been all bad but it hasn't exactly been all good either. I've been debating whether to start with the good or with the bad. I’ll just pick a spot and go from there.
Exercise: The Doldrums
As far as exercise wise, April wasn't a good month for me. I started off strong but then midway, I got sidelined by an infection that put me out of commission for a week. Perhaps it was even longer because I started exhibiting symptoms about a week before that, but I was trying to dismiss them as old fashioned fatigue. However, it got so bad I did cave in and call the doctor. He let me know it was much worse, and due to my ongoing medical condition, it increases my chances of getting infections regularly. Although the worst part is over with, my stamina isn't quite up to where it was before.
I have gone to the gym a few times since then. I noticed that I haven’t lost much in terms of strength but my endurance for cardio has declined somewhat, so I have to start rebuilding from there. In addition, I've had more time to do things around my apartment, so using some good old fashioned elbow grease, moving around a few items to and from, as well as going up and down two flights of stairs has proved to be a substitute until I can get my gumption back. The last time I went to the gym was this past Thursday—as a measuring stick.
Jobs: Moving and Shaking
Well, I will go into more detail about this in a separate blog, but to make a long story short, I am minus one job.
Blog Presence: Why So Stagnant
I will be covering some of this in a separate blog also. It isn't because I’m not interested in blogging anymore. It is mainly because I have been working hard on some writing projects I am completing. What started off as my stopping at two ended up turning into four. I’m being productive.
However, a lot of times, when I’m in the thick of writing poetry or short stories, it’s a different energy from when I’m writing a blog. However, all of these projects are nearly completion, so I’ll be back in the fold with a more prominent blog presence very soon. Plus, it’s also very hard for me to be on social sites—Facebook and Twitter. I get tunnel vision when I’m in creation mode.
Life: Tidal Waves
The past few years, May has proven to be a very difficult month. On the 5th, two years ago, I lost my grandfather to cancer. On this year, it was the Thursday before Mother’s Day, so my grandma doesn't have the same type of enthusiasm about Mother’s Day as she once did. Then, on the 19th, the longest relationship I had ever been in ended—this will mark five years since that has happened. I've done a better job at coping when the depression hits, but it does still hit. When it does, I find I have to step away from some things, although I haven’t been stepping away for as long, and that is definitely a good start.
I have been revisiting talking to someone, but the last time I tried, there was little progress. No one really got to the meat of the matter. Some just weren't good fits for me. It wasn't the bouts of being uncomfortable that bothered me as long as I was able to put some things in proper perspective. It was how certain issues got compartmentalized when I just had a feeling things went much deeper than just a classic “lady who has mommy and daddy issues.” So I stopped. Yet, my main hesitation is that I may get placed back on antidepressants, and that I do not want. I honestly feel like a lot of my battles have less to do with chemical imbalance and more to do with talking to someone to come to terms with the things I have experienced in my life.
More to come in a little while.