My name is No Labels, and I confess. I have strong workaholic tendencies.
I think it started off in my childhood. I always admired my grandparents. Even though both of them were retired, they always found ways to keep active. I rarely saw either one of them very still for very long—until they both started to decline in health. My grandpa would always wake up early to do yard work or if the car needed an oil change, he would do that. He would have his time to look at TV, but when he was driving, he would always find a way to get out the house. He was always doing something.
My grandma’s biggest thing was cleaning. Being productive. At times, even rearranging furniture to a new location. Grandpa wasn't always around or available at the time she wanted to do these things, so she and I could easily be found moving around a couch on our own. Not saying it was smart, but as women, we did what we had to do.
I am starting to recognize that the strong can teeter towards borderline toxic. It is hard to really pick up right away. You are just proud of yourself to being so determined and so motivated. That’s the overall feeling at first.
However, if the productivity isn't truly appreciated and valued…
If the workaholic effort leaves you more drained than invigorated and empowered…
If the ends are really not justifying the means…
Then, it is definitely time to start re-evaluating the situation.
I said all this to lead into my situation with my second job. There had been baby earthquakes popping up here and there, but some things really started coming to head. Honestly, dating back to when this new guy took over the travel plaza.
Yes, I agree the other lady needed to go. She was a bit lackadaisical. She’s one of those types that had been in power for so long that she just wanted to sit back and collect a paycheck. I don’t think she was as proactive as she needed to be as far as the welfare of her employees as well as the plaza.
When inspections came, the higher ups decided to clean house. The other head guy was fired; they gave her the option to step down or transfer.
However, in the cleaning house, they should have gotten rid of this other guy, too (who I will deem as Mr. C.).
Imagine a stockier version of Ned Flanders but with a Donald Trump like toupee. Put those two together and you have Mr. C.
The reason I say they should have gotten rid of Mr. C. is because he is similar to the other lady they transferred. He’s been in management power for so long he just wants to get a paycheck. He passes on his duties to this other lady, who I've nicknamed The Dragon, yet takes all the credit. He takes shortcuts which are very unethical. Also, he isn't honest when it comes to adhering to people’s availability and schedules (which I’ll definitely be expanding on). Plus, he doesn't know nearly as much as he needs to know to have all the power that he does have, yet he gets upset when he is called out on it. I could go on and on, but I think that is enough meat to sink your teeth into.
The other guy (I’ll deem him Mr. M) wanted to make all these changes. The issue I have is the fact that he makes sudden changes and assumes they have been communicated with other members of the staff.
One change he decided to make was that the Travel store would be open at 6 am instead of 7 am and would close at 10:30 pm instead of 9:30 pm on weekdays. Hours for the weekends would be 6 am-11:30 pm.
Since I am one of the people who do mornings on weekends, did anyone reach out to me to check and see if those hours would be feasible for me?
No. I didn't get one phone call from Mr. M. or from Mr. C. (who does my schedule) to let me know about these changes. They know I have another job. I just felt like a little courtesy was in order.
As it turns out, the one hour bump up isn't feasible for me because of the fact that during the weekends, The Sweetie doesn't work a full eight hour shift.
Since the buses don’t start running in my neck of the woods until seven, I have to have time to go and pick him up, drop him off at the apartment, and then make my way to work. I could still do that with my schedule being at seven. It wasn't going to be feasible with my coming in at six.
My first correspondence with them was letting them know I didn't take too kindly to them not notifying me of the changes in store hours. I also let them know that I couldn't come in at six am on Saturdays and Sundays and to consider it my two weeks’ notice.
Mr. C. went into panic mode. He ensured me that he would find hire someone to come in and do early Saturday and Sunday mornings and then he could put me on a later shift---like an 8-4 or a 9-5. He asked me if that would be feasible for me. He didn't want me to go since I was such a good, dependable worker.
So I temporarily held off.
Mr. C. did hire three new people. Then, I found out that Mr. M wanted the travel plaza to be open 24 hours, putting us in direct competition with Sunoco, which already is open 24 hours.
So now, I’m wondering if these people are mainly going to be overnight rather than someone to cover early shift on the weekends. I got told only one person was doing overnight, the other one was doing midday to help out Dragon Mon-Fri, and the third person would be doing day shift on the weekend.
However, Mr. C. lied, not just to me but to one of the people that he hired.
The one lady, who only agreed to work there because Mr. C. said she would definitely have weekends off, got a rude awakening when he started scheduling her for midday hours over the weekend. The situation got nasty because Dragon went and told Mr. C. that the lady (who I deem Do What I Want) wasn't going to come in on Sunday (the last Sunday in April). It wouldn't have been such a big deal except I was training the new girl (who I will deem Can’t Count Change), so I wouldn't have anyone to really cover my break. Do What I Want was going to tell Mr. C. privately, but Dragon overhead what she said, and immediately went and told Mr. C.
Then, Mr. C. instead of discussing it with Do What I Want privately decides to be snooty and put her on blast, asking “Do you have a problem with the schedule?” When Do What I Want let him know about the situation regarding babysitting for her seven month old son, she reminded him of the initial agreement she thought they had regarding her being hired. Mr. C. looked at Do What I Want and without missing a step said, “I never had that agreement with you.”
I see the Dragon smirking—she is that type that throws the rock, hides her hand, and then tries to act like she’s your friend. So of course, Do What I Want is upset and understandably so.
Her attitude becomes different, and she begins taking it out on other people, which I had to deal with the following day, while I was training Can’t Count Change. I understand she was mad at Dragon and Mr. C., but I’m not the major problem, and neither was the other co-worker (who I will deem Hard Working but Gets No Credit). She got really nasty with Hard Working after I left that day, and ended up leaving her shift early. She was scheduled until six but left at around 4:30.
Since I had made multiple complaints about the Dragon, Mr. C. had given his word that he wouldn’t schedule Dragon and I on the same shift together. However, that word was broken when on two Saturdays, I had to end up dealing with her. She doesn’t talk to me—she barks orders at me like I’m some type of dog. With her, I act passive because that’s not how you address me. I’m the type of person who is proactive. I don’t sit around waiting for someone to tell me what to do—I know what needs to be done, so I just do it.
If I disagree with something, she will go and constantly complain about me to management in an attempt to get me fired. What she did on the last Saturday of the month (which was the same day the incident between her and Do What I Want happened) was my breaking point—the extent at which she lied. It was all because I refused to do a task she was supposed to be doing. She claimed I called her something derogatory, and the term she said I used I would NEVER use because The Sweetie is of that heritage. That really incensed me.
Also, I began noticing that my health wasn't as great as it had been. The progress I had been making in my levels started to backslide. The doctor in his last visit expressed great concern and said I should cut down my hours or quit the job altogether. It was okay as long as my hours were kept to two days a week.
However in the weeks before I decided to leave, my hours had increased. One week, I was working four days a week. I just felt like my availability wasn't being respected, nor was my medical condition, although I let them know the details of my medical condition.
It also didn’t help when I found out Can’t Count Change was being trained to help out with overnight, not with morning shift on the weekend. So I found out Mr. C. lied to me. If he could lie so easily to Do What I Want, then what’s to stop him from lying to other people just to get them to stay?
On that Sunday, I was like, “What am I doing here?” The ends just weren't justifiable anymore. I was dealing with a manager that wouldn't reprimand his lead, no matter how many complaints she has received from other employees about her treatment of them as well as her mannerisms. I was dealing with a lead that had it in for me. The new people they were bringing in were lazy and disrespectful, and the progress I was making in my health was declining.
My hair had started to come out again, and that was the ultimate warning sign for me: I had to get away from there.
Two weeks be damned! I attempted to give it to them before, but Mr. C. lied so that I would stay. The company allowed treatment that was dishonorable towards me, so in my eyes, due to the fact that my health was involved, I didn’t feel justified in giving them two weeks. Because knowing them, they would try to talk me out of it or convince me to stay. This time, I just wasn’t having it.
I presented them with formal written documentation—fax and hard copy. I also gave back my badge. May 1st was my resignation date.
As of this typing, although they have clearly received everything (I keep copies of everything), my name is still on their schedule.
I have not shown up for work. No call and no show is something I don’t do. They know this about me. They also know that unless it is doctor related, I don’t miss two days back to back. I didn't show up the first weekend after I quit. I didn't show up this past weekend. I won’t be showing up this Thursday.
Since leaving there, my levels are becoming more stable. I am able to eat at earlier hours, better hours. I am able to eat healthier and on a more consistent basis. The hair is in the process of repairing. I feel like such a huge weight has been lifted off me since leaving that place.
I know I’m a good worker and a hard worker, but I have to know when to walk away when I’m being disrespected. Not regarding my health is disrespect to me.
Going what I went through in my other job taught me a very important lesson. No one is going to care more for my well being than me, and if I don’t hold my well being in high regard, I can’t expect anyone else to. I decided to put a greater price tag on me, which has resulted in me using “No” more and prioritizing how high money is on the overall scheme of things. I’m not saying money isn't important, but it’s no longer trumping health.
I’m sticking to my decision, no matter how much they are seemingly refusing to honor my exit.