Wednesday, September 28, 2005

U Eva Wanna...Unleash the Dragon

I love the sarcastic type style of those like Bill Mahr, George Carlin, Chris Rock, and Michael Moore, so this blog is kind of a reflection of this.  Call it "New Rules"; "Dang, this girl must be crazy"; "Bring da Pain"..whateva.  I just felt like spitting, so here it go.

Things that make me growl/or put that exaggerated picture of growling up there:  (unfortunately they are in no particular order and I pray you will never ever EVER have to find out where they rank)

1.  Not being a person of your word; promising to do something and then can't perform and don't provide a substantial reason why you can't perform.  I'm from the ol' skool where word is bond (there shouldn't have to be all this legal type shyt..we gotta sign a contract, etc. etc., but you can't be like that with folks anymore)

2. Folks that know you are a beginning driver and try to be smart asses by riding around you, even though you are doing 30 in a 25, he's passing you doing 50 and almost runs into the person on the other side because it is a no passing lane....makes me feel like laughing and like "that's what u get fucka"....but instead i give him the turkey (or an exaggerated finger)

3.  People that interrupt you while you are talking, especially if you are giving them the information that they want to know, like the price of their food, what your name is, how long it is going to take, etc.

4.  Slamming doors while I'm trying to sleep.  Like damn, I know you highly pissed off but must you let me, the three cats, the kids going to school, and the folks next door know it (should I buy you a punching bag so you can work out your frustration)

5.  Folks that are extremely wasteful of food (comes from my family being without..they waste food like a mutha up here)

6.  Excessive nastiness that I have to constantly clean up (that's the Virgo in me; no excuse and I offer no apologies)

7.  Lack of organization/time management (all my Virgos will understand this one)

8.  People who constantly complain about the same shit every day or even different shit in the same day or mulitiple shit 365 days a year...I mean, damn, life is a dick with bitch like tendencies and she will fuck you harder than being anally probed without Vaseline, but....we got homeless people, folks with sick kids, folks that are dying, folks with no food or water, folks who have lost everything...and you here complaining about everything from having to hire a sitter than having to pay $1.50 to compensate the driver that is using up his precious gas to deliver you food and you don't even tip the guy and you stay in a million dollar house...get my drift?

9.  Folks that say they don't mind something but then later on (like 8 months later) be like, "you remember that thing; well I did mind that thing and it pisses me off when you do that thing...." I'm like what in the hell are you talking about?

*I think there should be a statute of limitations concerning how long you can hold shit in and never say anything about it, like, "You are given 6 months to express anything you couldn't express before without a lot of dramatic backlash but after that you have no right to even say anything unless it constantly keeps happening"*

So next time a person says, "It makes me sick when you sing and there is no music"; I can be like, "When is the last time you mentioned  it?" and if they can't come up with records, then the case is dismissed.

That's what your mouth is for (if you wanna spit it) and your fingers are for (if you wanna type it)...cause I know when I'm highly pissed off, my southern elegance and charm tend to fly out the window for some Diary of a You Betta Not Even Try that Shyt Black by the time I write it, then when I get calm enough to be in someone's face and say it--it will still be impactful but diluted of excessive colorful language.

10.  Unnecessary vengefulness---I know that folks aren't supposed to be vengeful by any means, but I'm not going to front--if you do anything to mess with my grandparents, my siblings, my lover, my friends, any of my pets, I am not going to guarantee that I won't come after you with a vengence.  But just doing stuff that you know makes someone mad just to be doing that's annoying.

More blogging to come...peace.

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