Wednesday, December 28, 2011

The Un-sexy Chronicles II: Profanity



Scenario:

Two guys on the sidewalk talking:

"Yo man what's good?"

"Not much, man!  I'm pissed off than a mutha fucka!"

"What happened?"

"You know Keno, that mutha fucka who's a friend of yo mutha fuckin cousin?"

"Nah my cousin don't fuck with that mutha fucka like that..."

"Well, anyway, that mutha fucka Keno, I loaned him twenty mutha fucka dollars to put in his mutha fucking tank cause that mutha fucka said he couldn't get to the mutha fuckin bank before the mutha fucka closed.  I told him I needed my mutha fuckin money back right away because I gotta give my baby's mama that mutha fuckin money so my kids can have some mutha fuckin pampers.  And that mutha fucka been duckin and dodgin my ass ever since!"

"Yo that's fucked up.  I got some ends if you need 'em, dawg."

"I 'preciate that, dude, but that's not the fuckin point. It is the principle of the thing.  That nigga think he got over on me on some mutha fuckin money, but when I catch up to that nigga, I'm gone go off on his mutha fuckin ass and get my money plus interest, word is bond!"

"Do what you gotta do, man."

Okay, I'm not saying that people normally don't talk like this, but where I grew up, I was not around it.  My grandparents did not curse in normal chatter, like these two guys were doing.  The only time they did was when they were extremely upset, and they would always apologize afterwards for letting it slip. 

And the worse my grandparents said were shit, damn, and ass.  I don't really think ass is really a curse word since it's another word for donkey.  Bitch was rare, too, but it's considered a female dog. 

But the m.f. or the f bomb....no.

I didn't get expose to those until I went off to college.  It seemed strange to me to see people trying to get an education using these words when they would talk to each other.

At first, I was like, "What are they so mad about?" since the only time I heard words of that nature were when people were upset.

But then I realized it was just how they related to each other.  Even girls calling each other bitches and hos and not getting mad at each other. 

Back in the day (hell, even to this day), you call me a bitch, that's an invite for an ass whooping.

One of the few fights I got in back in the sixth grade was because some chic called me a "stupid bitch" because I stopped talking to her for betraying my trust.

So to me, bitch is the last word you can call me for a term of endearment.  Nor is it classy.

I can respect the way other people interact with each other, if that's the only way they feel they can do it. 

However, I think there are better ways to communicate casually than to use filler words.  I consider cursing filler words, to say something because you can't come up with anything better to say.  Like why does the guy have to be "that mutha fuckin guy"~ when you take the m.f. out, the sentiment doesn't change.  I mean, it doesn't make him distinctive or descriptive, per se.

Therefore, if someone has a conversation with me, I do not want to hear constant f bombs, mf bombs, bitches, etc.  I don't respond well to that type of communication.  If you know that is how you like to come across, you have to tone down or eliminate that jargon altogether.

I don't mind an occasional damn or some stuff for emphasis,but if I'm hearing m.f. six times in ten minutes, then the first date will definitely not turn into a second one.



Plus, I don't like getting the look and hearing crickets.

What do I mean, exactly?

Well, I have a bit of an extensive vocabulary.  However, it is a bad sign when I'm having to translate what I say when I am speaking English.

For example, I have been on a date with someone who didn't know what "delicious" meant.  I can understand if it's hard to spell delicious but not knowing that it means "something tastes good."

So the f bombs every two minutes, save that for your guy friends or females that like that type of slang.  I'm not that female, and that's okay.

One.


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