Hmm…bet this scenario has happened to a few people more often than not. But I am going to approach it at a different angle…I think in a sense I have to because of the fluidity of my sexuality.
I feel like honesty and communication is key.
If one has an attraction to the same sex, he owes it to himself to let the female he’s dating know up front about it. That way, she can decide on her own if it’s something she wants to sign up for. If she isn’t down, then at least it is known. He is not putting anyone through any unnecessary trauma. He has to let her know, even if he’s not acting out on it because one never knows when the urge may strike. He definitely has to let her know if he is active and is going to continue to be active with that side.
Same goes for females, but I’m using he because I’m addressing the scenario.
Let’s say 1st scenario…the guy is honest with me. He tells me straight up he is a switch hitter. He loves me but hasn’t found a guy he is attracted to. He wants to build a bond with me. Since we are in the dating stage already (I didn’t say no), I’m walking upon this….
I can’t act like Boo-Boo the Fool and not anticipate the possibility of it happening. I can’t feign like I’m innocent because the cards are on the table…
Let’s leave that in suspense for a moment. I’m doing it like this for a reason. Ride with me a little bit further….
Let’s say 2nd scenario…he mentions nothing about being attracted to the same sex. He’s in denial, doesn’t think he’s like that if he’s the top…whatever the case. He has rationalized he isn’t bi in any sense. He and I go on like we are the typical couple. I walk on in and hence him and another man.
Subtracting signs that he was like that in the first place (because in some cases, there’s no stereotypical evidence present), I am entitled to outrage. I am entitled to innocence because I did not get knowledge from him that he was that way.
In both scenarios, I am entitled to hurt, a little more so with the 2nd one.
In both scenarios, the outcome would be the same.
With the first, ending of the relationship because of the dishonesty. Not being upfront about wanting to be in an active relationship with another man.
With the second, also ending, not just because of the sexual act but not being upfront in the onset about the attraction to men.
Both scenarios…well, I’ll let Jazmine tell the story…