Saturday, July 16, 2011

Day 26~Age Ain't Nothing But a Number...or Is It?

26~ If your young daughter or son came to you and told you they were in love with someone your age...what would your response be?

Well, I don’t have any children, but I know what my daughter and son would be named if I had them. My daughter would be named Kyra; my son would be named Michael. I envision having two children, three at the most. I have not decided what the name of the third one would be.

If my son or daughter were under legal age, then it would definitely be HELL TO THE NO! Someone might be bailing me out of jail for trying to slap her old ass or karate kick his perverted ass.

It would be similar to that scene in Stella Got Her Groove Back where Angela Bassett’s character is meeting Taye Diggs’ character’s mom for the first time. The two of them are alone and the mom is wondering, “What are you doing with my baby?”

Now I know for that, it’s slightly different because he’s grown…but I quoted it because of the sentiment…because that is how I would come at her. As for the him, he better pray the cops get to him before I do. He’ll want to be in jail when I’m done.

Now if they are 18 and up…well, the decision is up to her or him. I still would not be a fan because there are so many challenges with big age differences:

1. Starting out vs. stability
2. Taking risks vs. security
3. Sexual appetites and expectations
4. Upbringings
5. Control issues

6. Gossip
7. Jealousy
8. Insecurity
9. Aging (if he/she will still find beauty in the other person)
10. Life experiences

The list goes on and on…it is an uphill battle but even more so if one doesn’t have consideration for the other.

Meaning the older person in the relationship will have to take into account the station in life where my son or daughter is at and try to remember what it was like when he/she was that age….for some, it may be too difficult; the person may be too close to the situation to feel fully objective.

For my son/daughter, to also be understanding of the older one’s experiences and to not get too mad if it seems like the person comes at him/her like a parent.

I would not approve, but I would let the chips fall where they may, even if it leads to my son/daughter’s heartbreak. How else would they know what not to look for? They have to experience that pain, even as one tries as a parent to shield him/her from it.

I don’t want them to go through even one-eighth of the stuff I went through. I want them to be able to talk to me. I am going to be firm but fair. I don’t want the times they need to talk to me the most to be more difficult than it already will be.

Side Note: I love my grandparents but certain personal stuff I just couldn’t talk to them about. I had to do my research, find out from others. I want to be my kids’ first stop before they get the insight from someone else. I am not going to be like parents who act blind to the dangers, peer pressure that is out there. These are different times than when I was growing up; I have to be adaptable as well.

So there is it. I’m not a mother but if I were one…this would be my stance.

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