Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Erotic Truths, Day 13~Dream On

13. A fantasy you know you will never fulfill

Hmm…guess this is another one I have to spin the Roulette wheel on.

(gives a baby spin this time)

Wow…I got to put this on semi-blast.

Well, I guess most of you have picked up now that my love and lust are genderless. If not, well…(okay, I’m not going to elaborate further)

Although the majority of my friends are male, there are a few females that I have managed to have friendships with. I admit female friendships are tough for me; I have to fight coming into them jaded because of the amount of betrayal I have endured.

I chuckle to myself because quite a few that I’m very close to I have yet to meet. I wonder if that will change once meeting. I seriously doubt it but if it did, it wouldn’t surprise me. I’m not saying it wouldn’t upset me, just that it wouldn’t surprise me.

I don’t believe in all the smoke and mirrors. I am the way I am; I don’t fake the funk when I talk to you or interact with you. My zany sense of humor isn’t a front. Nor is my writing; nor are my experiences. Reality TV is child’s play to the shit I’ve gone through…if you want Snooki, you’ve come to the wrong place.

But female friendships can be trickier because of my philosophy on gender and attraction. The ones who I’ve closely bonded with know; I’m not one to hit them over the head with it. I’m sure if they were uncomfortable, they would have walked away by now. Some share my philosophy; some don’t agree with it but are respectful.

I won’t do too long of a digression…but I will say this: Out of all my strictly-dyckly associates or friends, 98% of them I have NO ATTRACTION TO WHATSOEVER. Not that they aren’t beautiful; they just don’t do it for me…

With two exceptions; one I will dare to speak of. I will deem her Jessica.

I haven’t known Jessica long, so I guess she and I are more associates than friends, even though she confides in me and looks to me for advice. Jessica and I bonded because the guy I’m seeing and she used to be an item. However, their breakup was amicable and they are still friends. At first, when she was down, stressed, or needed an ear, she would call him and they would talk. Then, one day, he handed the phone to me…because he claimed Jessica needed a woman’s perspective. She and I have been talking, E-mailing, and Facebook-ing ever since.

If you open a magazine featuring a full-figured model, Jessica should be in one of the ads. She’s a dream. Long hair, long eyelashes, full lips. Perfectly manicured nails. Tall and sassy. Amazingly thick in the breasts, hips, thighs, and the back. Her voice--strong, husky, yet sensual. And brains to match. A powerhouse indeed!

And yet, Jessica does not have a man. Guys are either deep asleep, idiots, or don’t have their game together enough to step to her.

Yeah, I’m crushing big time, and she has no clue. My guy does; he kind of rags on me about the situation…bugs me about if I’m ever going to tell her…

“Um..hell to da nah!”

I have yet to meet her, which is a travesty, since she is only a state away. Jessica has even told me she wants to meet up.

At first, I thought she wanted to meet him and me, but she says she just wants to spend time with me. I don’t want to read too much into it; it’s natural to want a “girl’s day/night out”. But Jessica’s known him longer than she’s known me, so the other part of me is thinking it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.

I’m not going to front; I’m a little nervous about it because of the fantasies that play in my head:

I want to touch her and kiss her so badly. In most of them, it’s all Jessica and I do. In a few, she’s comfortable enough to let me see that her rack is real. There are a few more that are extremely graphic…from her being totally naked and pleasuring herself in front of me to my being thrilled as she rides my face.

But hey, she’s strictly dyckly…so I don’t see this fantasy or any variation of it happening at all…sighs.

Until then, I will still dream a little

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