Sunday, July 10, 2011

Day 20~Computer Love

20~ Do you believe in Long Distance/Internet Love? Why or Why not?

Yes, I do believe in Long Distance/Internet Love.

My tale is a very interesting one. It’s not for lack of trying those which are close. I went through my share of heartache and pain when having a relationship of proximity. If I hadn’t gone through so much between my senior year of high school and my sophomore year of college, perhaps Internet/Long Distance relationship would not have been as appealing.

I got tired of being monitored. The closeness got to be suffocating. I couldn’t understand being in the same city, heck, the same campus, and someone being paranoid about my doing something. I got annoyed being gossiped about, particularly once I got to college--being so-and-so’s girl instead of my own identity.

So close to the end of sophomore year of college, I decided I would no longer date guys on campus.

Too much messiness.

I wanted privacy; I wanted to feel free to do what I wanted. I wanted to be in love and have space. I wanted to have the feeling of missing the other person; for me, it was kind of hard if the person always wanted to be under me 24-7.

I had quite a bit of success with Internet/Long Distance.

Of course, there were some frogs along the way.

The shortest relationship I had was for about a month or so; he made great talk on line and on the phone, but once he and I finally met in person, we were so not compatible. Although I’m not a big outdoor connoisseur, I do like being in nature from time to time, particularly when I write. However, he kept complaining about the bugs and being out in the sun. No, the guy wasn’t gay; he was extremely metro, more metro than I wanted to deal with.

I did have an instance where I was supposed to meet the guy but he didn’t show.

Needless to say, the communication ceased.

The guy that I speak of as my regret, Mr. Florida--I met him online. He was one of my best relationships.

Ant and Neka were long distance.  The guy I was going to build with in GA was long distance (he was in NC).

Bittersweet and I were long distance for about five months before she got tired of the distance; after that, we were together for about five more years, which is my longest relationship.

I am not going to mention all of them, just the ones that were the most memorable.

The keys to it working are 1. Communication 2. Honesty 3. Dedication to making the time and effort to see each other 4. Budgeting (because distance isn’t cheap) 5. Confidence 6. Trust

I know many think there is way more risk with it being long distance because you cannot see everything that is going on. However, the same thing can happen if someone is very close to you--I am proof of that.

It is not for everyone. From 1998-2002, it was for me.

I’m at a different stage in life now. I am not certain I could do the long distance now. I want more stability, more close interaction. Although I still value my privacy, the person doesn’t have to be more than two hours away to give it to me.

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