Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Ready to Bust...in a good way

Each day, I am learning something new, discovering things about myself.  That is a good thing; when you stop growing, you stop evolving.

I had an interview today.  I didn't go in with the usual anxiety.  I did the best I could and can only hope it was good enough.  I am not sure if it is a good sign for the interview to be only a few minutes and for the guy and I to have conversation for the next 45. 

I am cutting it down to the wire trying to decide which direction I am going in...should I just add computerized functions to my accounting degree in the hopes it will make me even more marketable?  Or do I go in a whole different direction--the medical billing?

One of the schools I'm doing research on (even though it gives lifetime career placement assistance) has some negative feedback from one of its' spots.  It is not at the one I will be attending because that one just recently got set up, but still, I want to go over this with the recruiter/counselor before I take that leap in getting an acceptance letter.

The other school I'm looking at has also had some negative feedback, but again, not at the campus I want to attend.

The third option I know has good teachers because I attended a few courses there before; however, I would have to wait until August to get the ball rolling if I decide on that one.  I am a little too late for summer enrollment; plus I have to make sure that the medical billing aspect is covered as part of the program. 

Either way it goes, I want to become more productive.  I didn't want to jump the gun with a career change; I was trying to give myself a chance with what I already had.  However, I have to be realistic; I am running low on time.  Not in a rush, per se, but one has to pick up the pace.

I have been full of creativity as of late.  For a long time, that seemed stuck, too.  I have had so much going on with me; some of it I haven't gotten around to really writing about.  I just haven't quite reached that point where I can look back and laugh.  I have accepted some things have happened for a reason but not to where I can be fully happy about it.

But it feels good for me to finally admit that. 

Sure, I would rather be working and not have the everyday job of looking for a job.  On the same token, I don't feel as if the life was being sucked out of me like it was at my management job.  So it's a double edged sword.

I also have to take time to get back to the roots of why I wrote in the first place.  Writing started off as my catharsis; I must get back to seeing it and utilizing it as such.  From finally deciding to properly market some of my old work to putting out hidden treasure/new works, it takes my mind off worrying about my predicament.  It's sad it took me this long to extract the joy of the act rather than focus on the assembly of the content.

Now that is what I'm doing.  Hopefully with a little help.  I have to learn to delegate...what I am not super skilled in, I have to be smart enough to pass it on.  Plus, I know so many good people; who knows what connections they may have or what skills.  I cannot be so quick in the game to conclude "no one can do it better than me, myself, and I."

More than narcissistic; just plain wrong.

Only drawback to this new found creativity is sometimes, it keeps me up.  One night, I was writing until almost four in the morning. 

If I were on depression medications, like I was in the past, one of them made my body wind down on its' own.  Since I'm not (and haven't been able to be on any in quite a while), my sleep pattern has been out of wack; working crazy hours at the former job hasn't helped, either.

So I will probably have to work out a schedule, just so I am not doing things to the point of exhaustion; I have to control my urge to overdo, overstretch--just properly pace.

Like, at first, I had gotten aggravated with myself because I had not put up all of my Travel Journal.  Then, I had to tell myself to take it one day at a time...the beautiful thing about Blogger is that I can put a past date in there even if I'm just writing it now.  After that, I felt better and wasn't so hard on myself.

Pace, patience, and persistence....the key.

Winding it down now.


1 comment:

SOAP aka SoulofaPoet said...

We are always our own worst critic. Blessings on your endeavors!!