Monday, May 16, 2011

Travel Journal: Day Two

Day Two (May 10th): Whose Obituary Is It Anyways?/Now You Wanna Be A Mom?

Since I have been down here, my body has been waking up early. Today I woke up at 7:30 this morning. No particular reason; just did.

I tend to set my alarm if I have something important to go to. But ninety percent of the time, I wake up before it goes off. So I woke up, so Grandma and I would have a chance to drink coffee together and talk.

That is our ritual.

I know Grandma doesn’t realize that for a while I had slowed down on drinking coffee so my tummy is getting back used to things. By the time Grandma and I are finished with our ritual, I see that it’s almost 11:00. Grandma had mentioned Uncle Trent's daughter might be waking up and making her way after 12. I didn’t want to be the hold up in the equation, so I started washing up and getting ready. I finished a little after 12, so now I am waiting. A friend of the family stops by and talks to Grandma; she is pretty long winded. Around 1:30, I come outside because Grandma says that Uncle Trent might ride with us since his car is having issues. So I’m cleaning out my car a little bit, but I let Grandma know that it’s almost 1:30 and had she heard from his daughter. Grandma says that she hasn’t so I told her that we still had to get the shirt and we didn’t want to wait until it was too late to get to the funeral home.

Around 1:45, Uncle Trent comes up to the house and asks if Grandma is ready to go. I told him no and that she was waiting on his daughter. So he decides he doesn’t want to wait; says he’s going to let her get her rest. I thought there was more to the story, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. Then I noticed he was on the phone with someone back and forth. Finally he goes outside and lets Grandma know that we weren’t going to wait and we should get going. By the time Grandma gets ready and we are on our way, it is about 2:30. We pick out the shirt and are on our way to the funeral home.

By the time we get to the funeral home, it is almost 3:00. The obituary still hadn’t be done and Patricia, the lady at the funeral home, told us about the two different types. One was a standard that didn’t include a whole lot of information--didn’t say much past the location and time of the wake and funeral. The one with a whole lot of information to it was going to cost $40. Grandma wanted to go with something simple, but Uncle Trent wanted something more elaborate. Then there was a debate about how I would be listed, since I had been raised by my grandparents, and the listing wasn’t going to go into details about the grandchildren. So finally it was decided I would be listed as a daughter, which I know would stir up controversy either way, but we felt it would be the lesser of two evils.

Then Uncle Trent asked me if I knew how to get to the Honda place on 55. I was wondering why he would ask me about that, since his car is not a Honda. But Grandma and I found out later that his old girlfriend/ex-girlfriend (Local FBI I will deem her) wanted him to pick up a part for her car and the part was located in Brookhaven, but we had to rush because the place closed at 4:30pm. So the pieces were put together as to why he told his daughter not to worry about it--because he had something to do for Local FBI.

On the way back to the house, I get a call from Zack, finalizing the time for us to hang out, which would be around 7 or 7:30. So I go to get ready, and by the time I go out, I noticed that my sister Quasha had arrived--she had flown in from Vegas; my mom and her new friend had come down to New Orleans to come get her. I haven’t seen her since she was little. Her energy is funky; I didn’t realize how funky until days later.

I got a call from Zack letting me know he was ready, so I was on my way out. My mom was sitting on the edge of the couch right next to the door. Now she, who hasn’t been around me since I was three years old, who showed no concern about my comings and goings, didn’t provide a dime to Grandma and Grandpa while they were raising me…asks me this question:

“Where are you going?”

I kind of give her a look because I thought she was playing. So she asks me:

“Where are you going? Who are you going with? When are you going to be back?”

Inside, I was fuming.

First off, I’m 33; I’ve been grown for a while.

Secondly, don’t try to be mother of the year when you didn’t give too much thought when you left thirty years ago.

Third, I’m still hurt over the whole demon episode.

Fourth, I’m still hurt over how simple she acted when I came down for those few days in March.

So I feel like she has no right to tell me anything, so I told her not to worry about where I’m going. Then she start hugging me, telling me she love me and wants to spend time with me--I tell her that I would catch up with her tomorrow and walk out the door.

Zack and I agree to meet at the mall. I said I wasn’t comfortable coming to the apartment because his wife isn’t too fond of me. He said he couldn’t go far because his car was having transmission issues. So he and I came to a happy medium. He also said he didn’t have much money left and that he could treat me to a small snack if I wanted. I was like okay…so we walked through the mall for a little bit; grabbed a bite once the mall closed and spent some time walking around at Wal-Mart. After a while, I told him I had to go; he had to go because he had work in the morning. So he gave me a hug--lots of hugs; I want to be there for him but on the same token, I don’t want him to get the wrong idea…for him to respond based on his anger and disappointment in his wife’s behavior….to keep it friendship; I’m not a rebound chic.

Besides, as Jill Scott says, “I got something Bedda at Home.”

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