Monday, May 16, 2011

Travel Journal: Day One

Day One (May 9th): The Youngest Detective and Marital Mayhem

I set out on my journey Sunday, which happened to fall on Mother’s Day. I had a bit of a late start so I drove as long as I could. I didn’t stop driving until a little after midnight. On Monday, I only had about seven, seven and a half hours worth of driving left, so I wasn’t in as much of a rush--but I did want to get to MS before it got dark. I arrived at about 4:30 in the afternoon.

Before I could get settled in, I saw my youngest sister going up the road. She hadn’t too long gotten out of school. Her normal routine was to go to school, come home, do homework, and then go up the road to someone house to play with the kids.

This was a foreign concept to me because 1. When I was growing up, there were no kids really close to my age to play with. 2. Grandparents didn’t permit me to go over to someone else’s house or sleep over. 3. I had so much homework by the time I finished I almost didn’t feel like playing.

But that was my reality. Kids are a whole lot different now.

However, if I were a mother, I would make sure that my child is within my eyesight and know who’s house they were going to, the parents’ phone number…guess I would be like a FBI agent when it came to my child. Besides, I probably wouldn’t let them go over there; I’d tell the kid she wanted to play with to come over so I can see what’s happening. That’s just me.

That’s not my mom. She lets my youngest sister have too much freedom. Although she doesn’t look her age, she’s only eleven years old. She still should be treated like a child.

Another thing the youngest does that not only irks me but Grandma is she has a tendency to come in the house without knocking. During the day when we are in the house together, we tend to leave the door unlocked. Most people knock on the door, wait to be told to come in, and then enter. My sister will just open the door and come on in. She did that while Grandma and I were talking; I talked a while with my sister and such. Then she left and later on came back when Grandma and I were talking outside on the porch, which led Grandma and I to believe that she kept coming up here to spy on us…to see what we were talking about so she can come back and tell my mom.

Since the demon incident, my mom hasn’t been up to the house. But she hasn’t been up to the house much since Grandpa was released from the hospital and put in her trailer only because she had the extra room for the hospital bed and what not. My sister Karmen is not welcome at the house because not only was my mom practicing dark arts, Karmen was as well. My Grandma isn’t fond of that type of practice and would rather that element be as far away from her as possible.

I’m not sure how much valuable information my youngest sister was able to pass on. Neither my grandma or myself gave her much.

Grandma filled me in that she had to take care of a lot of the funeral arrangements herself. Even though Social Security and the VA put money on some things, there were other things she had to take care of. Like the burial spot. Although Grandma said in advance that everyone needs to set aside some money to buy the spot, no one had gone through the trouble to do so, and in the end, she had to pay the money for the spot. To be on the safe side, she paid money for her spot as well. Then she had to pay the gravedigger, a little extra money for the casket…she said the irony is that Grandpa is paying for his own funeral. Sad but true.

We found out from Uncle Bud and Aunt Carol that my mom had been going around saying she spent thousands of dollars on the funeral arrangements. Grandma was like "if that’s the case, show me the receipts so I can get my money back". She also told me that the obituary wasn't finalized, and we had to find a nice shirt to go with the suit we were going to put Grandpa in. But the rest of Grandpa’s outfit had to get down there no later than Tuesday evening. I told her if she needed me to, I would take her around and to the funeral home--all I needed was the address. She told me that Uncle Trent’s daughter, was going to take her after she had rested from her 12 hour shift the day before. I told Grandma even so I would go along with them the next day; I would be prepared either way. In our family, if it can go wrong, it will. Grandma told me okay.

I had let certain people know directly that I would be coming home, although on my Facebook status, it was made pretty obvious that I was going to be traveling. One of those people was my friend Zack. He and I go way back…like high school years back. He had been having his share of troubles. Before I moved out to GA, back in 2001, it was just before he was going to marry his first wife. I didn’t think he was really ready to get married, but it is his life. Then one time when I came to visit, not only had his wife gone to Chicago, she had met another man and gotten pregnant by him. Needless to say, the first marriage was a done deal.

Then not too long afterwards, he met this second woman, who I will call Pickle. Both of them were in situations--he hadn't quite got all the money together to finalize the divorce and she had recently separated from her husband. She also had three kids to bring to the mix--her oldest one, at that time, being 14. But you can’t just love a woman with kids without loving the kids, if you know what I mean. Zack wanted kids of his own, but Pickle told him that she had a hysterectomy and couldn't produce anymore children. He didn't want her to go through the trouble to reverse the procedure; he would just love her kids as his own.

As their relationship became closer, Zack didn't feel right just being separated, so when he finally got enough money together, he made his split official from his first wife. Pickle had told him that she had done the same not too long afterwards. However, not only had she not done it on the day she said she would, she ended up sleeping with her ex-husband on more than one occasion. To me, this would have been an indication--if she is going to keep sleeping with her ex-husband if she is trying to build with you, if you end up marrying her, you’re doing nothing but taking his place. But he didn't see it that way because the ex-husband, according to Pickle, treated her like crap. Zack thought all she needed was to be with a good man…be with someone who could show her that all relationships aren’t bad. All men were not the same. When I came down in 2008, Pickle had broken her promise to Zack that she wouldn't sleep with her ex-husband. He was contemplating if this was the right move he was making because he wanted to marry her. I told him perhaps this is God’s way of letting you know she’s the wrong choice but in the end it was up to him.

According to Zack, she started to clean up her act and she stopped sleeping with her ex-husband; she got the money together to finalize the divorce. November 2008, he went ahead and married her. All I could do was shake my head.

Since their marriage, Pickle has cheated on him six times. The last two times was the worse. One was the neighbor across the street, who she insists she wants to stay friends with. The other guy--well she thought the two of them were cousins at first but they found out they weren't and they started messing around with each other. So this other guy comes up to their apartment to tell Zack that he’s with Pickle now and Zack needs to step. This last dude he says is the last straw for him, but the reason why his family and I get so aggravated is that he will say he is through for good; we will extend our help only for him to go back to her a few days or even a few weeks later.

With the fifth guy, everyone was so sure that Zack was finished with it. She had kicked Zack out the apartment for like the 3rd time. He had been staying in a hotel. She was flaunting her dealings with the guy next door.

But dealing with this situation was like the boy who cried wolf. So he cried wolf and folks kept coming to save the boy but there was no wolf. Then when the real wolf arrives and the boy calls, no one comes because they think it’s another joke.

So after the 5th dude and Zack still went back, some of his family and friends washed their hands of it. I was also like don’t come talking to me about this until you are through; you already know how I feel about it. I was also mad because I was coming to terms that my grandpa was dying and all he could talk about was Pickle. And Grandpa died from the same ailment that took his mother--cancer. But he apologized.

Fast forward--he gets in contact with me and wanted to initially hang out tonight, but I tell him I am tired but I may have some time Tuesday early evening. He is like, “Okay.” He fills me in on the 6th guy then….I thought that she had gone back to messing with guy 5, but Zack told me that guy 5 had moved but she was still having a friendship with him. I told him I would get all of the news when I met face to face with him.

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