Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Counsel & Confirmation

There's a line in this song that I heard:

"Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same."

It all goes back to the situation I mentioned in my "Heroine" blog. Did I take the right action? Did I do the right thing?

People do not realize that when I make a decision, it's not one of impulse. I try and weigh out the pros and cons. I agonize over it; I think about it.

I am not nearly as cutthroat as people have made me out to be.

The people who are close to me know this. They know just because I don't outwardly react doesn't mean I am not reacting.

My grandma and I have been talking extensively . She can always pick up when I am feeling heavy, so I broke down and told her about the whole situation. Put everything out there; told her what I had decided. I told her about the inner debate in me--whether I was less of a decent human being for my decision.

My grandma is very opinionated. She will speak her mind whether you like what she has to say or not and she told me that on all counts, I did the right thing. The person hasn't learned the lesson, and if it hadn't been me, it would have been someone else--once that person quits playing victim and gets on one's feet, then the lesson will have been learned.

To hear her be in my corner did my heart good. Not saying that others who share my viewpoint do not matter. But for her to say, "You did the right thing" gives me a bit more security and confirmation.

So I will keep dealing with the silence. I will keep dealing with the resentment. As much as I want to reach out to see how the person is coping, I will refrain, although it is hard.

Peace.

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