Friday, August 1, 2008

In Times of Uncertainty

In times of uncertainty, I go between wanting to let people in and keeping the door locked to attempt to heal myself.

In times of uncertainty, I want to ask Him why He puts good spirits through the greatest amount of suffering.

In times of uncertainty, I go between screaming at Her (no more M, just Her) for hiding the level of her madness and screaming at myself for trying to justify it all.

In times of uncertainty, as She re-enters the psych ward (may not be Princeton House since they are full but another facility), I find myself beyond weary. I care because it's sucks to hear about that happening to a human being. But at the same token, since She decided to leave me, it is no longer my responsibility.

In times of uncertainty, She could have contacted her family and the boss directly, but instead She sends out the message for me to do it as if we are still connected, as if She didn't bring more chaos to my time of uncertainty.

In times of uncertainty, there's one thing I do know for certain.

I cannot go back to any of this anymore.


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