Friday, May 29, 2009
This is the time when I sit back and review everything that has come to pass. When you realize that no matter how much you love or try to be the person one says she wants, people don't change. People don't change behaviors, actions, unless they really want to.
This is the time to recognize the signs. Although one is of good intentions, there are more powerful things at bay. Things that keep one stuck in this rut of distrust, insecurity, indecision. And I don't want to be confused as to the role and purpose I serve. There should be no confusion because that part ended, but I was foolish enough to think the foundation would be strong enough to be maintained.
I realize a few nights ago that all the signs were there leading up to this moment, but it has always been up to me to make the right choice. For myself.
I've just been too afraid of the collateral damage. But continuing in this way, I'm discovering, may outweigh the fear. Best casse scenario--understanding & a resurrection of a friendship. Worse case scenario--no more friendship.
I'll just have to take my chances.