Greetings everyone! The Unleashed One here. Before I continue, I want to wish all the Mothers out there a Happy Mother's Day. I also want to send healing energy to those who have lost their mothers and how difficult this period of time can be and is for them.
For those of you who know me personally, you know that I was raised by my grandparents —my maternal grandparents to be exact. I rarely talked about my mother because we did not communicate a whole lot. Also, there were situations that arose which caused tons of upset ... that's putting it mildly. It would be safe to say that my relationship with my birth mother was not on the best of terms.
When Mother's Day would approach, one would see me speak about my grandmother. Being thankful that she raised me. Feeling blessed to be around some much love, care, wisdom, and life lessons. The honor and reverence I have for her (as well as my late grandfather) will never change.
This year is the first time I've ever posted a picture of my mother. I'm not sure she's aware that I have this picture. When I moved from my previous residence to the one I am in currently, this picture was packed away with other items in my attic.
Earlier this year, I went to the attic to search for one of my photo albums and stumbled upon the picture. For the first time, when looking at the picture, instead of the lingering question ("why"), it was "what's her story?".
One of the lessons I've learned since doing my own Shadow Work and by going to therapy is that one has to step outside of the hurt to ask questions ... to inquire about the other person's story.
In my early years, I let my emotions about events serve as a shield and did not entertain or care about what my mother had to say (if anything) about her decision-making or about what happened in her life to make her who she is. I recognize that not only is it not fair to her but serves as a deterrent to further advance in my healing.
Her perception deserves to be heard and I'm now at the stage where I am open. It's not about whether I agree but more so to facilitate dialogue. Maybe it will answer some unspoken questions or lead to more. I hope to get a further understanding of who my mother is. Perhaps she has her own wounds that have never scabbed over that need to be addressed.
This isn't necessarily about closure. For that would indicate that I have not forgiven, which is not the case. This is me taking a look ... for me to become better. For us to foster a bond, not from ashes of the past but from a foundation of the present and future.
All one can do is wait and see.
Okay, I'm off. Other exciting events await.
Until next time,