I almost started off with my Erotic Truths entry, but what's popping off right now seems ten times more prevalent. It occurred between 1am and 3am.
I could put down the whole scenario and put out the whole "what should I do bit". But this isn't what this is all about. However, I will reference Crossroads because it is the prequel to what took place.
So skim over that for a second.
I picked up on that with her even before the two of them interacted face to face.
Like getting all upset if one doesn't get a hold of him right away. That's how a girlfriend behaves if she can't get a hold of her man or someone who is obsessed with a guy. Not a female/male friend interaction.
Especially if she knows he is with someone.
She would just be like, "He's spending time with his girl; I will catch up with him when I can."
Or wanting to call him all times of the day and night. I wasn't minding of the nights when he was working, but if it's 1,2,3 in the morning and I'm still hearing the gong of his phone going off (text messaging), what do you have to talk with your friend with so urgently that it can't wait until later on? That is something that two people who give the ambiance of being in a relationship do...not just two friends chewing the fat and talking about meaningless subjects.
He has other female friends. Some of them I have met. A couple of them I am friends with and they talk to me almost as much or more than they talk to him. So this is not a case of someone being insecure, petty, or jealous.
But I feel like if someone is showing signs, I should make it a point to bring it to his attention and suggest to him that he not associate with this particular female.
I came to him Grown Woman style about the situation; he assured me he would handle it; however, it wasn't handled in the thoroughness that I desired.
For between 1am and 3am, while playing a card game on his Android (my phone tends to act stupid when it has a lot of games on it so I don't have games on it anymore), his phone starts glitching; while I'm trying to get back to the game, his text message screen pops up and it is interaction between him and this female.
Any other time, I would have just closed out of it. I've always tried to be respectful of privacy. I was never one to go through people's stuff. But it was the context of the conversation which gave me pause.
She gave a blown out confessional of the thing I already sensed. She was just playing the whole friend role because she wanted a relationship with him; she's waiting on him.
I'm not going to address the whole what happened with the confrontation with him. I want to focus on the interaction with her.
I'm not one of these new school chics. These new school divas act like they want to be friends with your man; they smile in your face; they act like they are happy with the two of you being together but do a whole different interaction when you are not looking.
These chics are cowards; they are chickens.
If you're going to act Grown, be Grown.
This is what I mean.
First off, I'm not going to fake like I want to just be your man's friend when I want more. It's different if he and I were friends before you came along. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about--I am not that chic that is going to pine away, waiting for your man to notice and come to me. If it was going to go down like that, you wouldn't even be in the picture. Sorry, not my style.
Secondly, I'm not going to front like I am cool with you. I'm not going to grandstand and say that "it's a pleasure to meet you". The only pleasure would be knowing who the competition is, but that is about it. There's no pleasure in it, especially if you are the female I have to take down to get what I want. I'm not down for the pretense. That's not my style, either.
In my quest for information, I dialed her number; of course she picked it up because it was dialed from his phone. She sounded half asleep but perked right back up when she realized the voice was a female one. I told her in a very assertive tone that there was "something very suspicious in her interaction with him; now is the time to come clean about everything."
I could have came at her screaming, ranting, raving....but in that he's the main culprit; he should have done his Grown Man thing and took care of business instead of acting like a Bleach Blonde, thinking the shit would just go away if he avoided it or ignored it.
But I did want to come to her, Woman to Woman, to let her know the way she is going about everything...definitely not copacetic.
Let's be technical; if the tables were turned and he was with her, would it be cool for me to hit up his phone all times of the day or night?
Would it be cool for his female friend to pitch an attitude when he is spending time with his girl?
Would it be all right for the two of us to meet and then for me to send your man a text message declaring my undying love and devotion to him, knowing he is all boo'd up?
But her response to me is something a Girl would say: "Um...I think that's personal."
So, you came up acting friendly in my face, doing things that show your intentions are not pure, verifying my suspicions of you, but you act like I have no right to raise my eyebrow on your interactions?
Do you know the place he resides in is my place? Not his, not our, but mine.
Do you know the phone he uses is my extra phone that is on my shared line?
I am interwoven in the tapestry of everything that is going on with him, so I do think I have a right to know about interactions going on via my phone line under my roof.
I gave her a chance to be a Grown Woman--whether foul or not, I would have respected it if she would have just put the cards on the table when I asked her. Not this whole act like you don't know what the hell I'm talking about and getting defensive.
If I am wrong, she should have called me on it. We should have been able to come to the table and talk like two civilized human beings. Could I have done a Jill Scott, taken off the rings, and sported the Vaseline?
Could I have taken it a step further and done a Jazmine Sullivan?
I retained the information so I could have.
And this isn't about him as much as it is about my interaction with her. What she didn't say told the whole story and what respect I could have mustered for her as a woman...what respect I could have tried to uphold for her expressing her feelings for a guy, knowing his situation...is null and void now.
Because she didn't respect me and the role I hold.
And that's real talk.